I'VE NEVER BEEN KISSED

Honestly, I cannot believe that I am writing this post. Announcing to the world that at the ripe old age of 22, you have never been kissed (let alone had a boyfriend) is pretty much asking for pure embarrassment (although I am sure the dates will come flooding in after this is published 😉). However, for some reason, I feel like it is something that needs to be shared. Maybe it is the Spirit, prompting me to help someone else in a similar situation, or maybe it’s just because it’s been on my mind a lot lately. Whatever the reason, I hope that my example will be able to aid someone.

I grew up in a very interesting, small town in Southeastern New Mexico. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved my upbringing, but the town does have a very peculiar culture to it. One of the defining features is that kids start dating at really a young age. Now, I have often been told that I am an “old soul” (which is just my mother’s kind way of saying “stick in the mud”), so maybe thinking twelve years old is too young to be dating is just me being a little extreme. Every situation is different, and each kid is different. As long as the parents feel comfortable with their child dating at a young age, that is all that really matters. However, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we have been given guidelines that recommend abstaining from dating until the age of sixteen. At quite a young age, I decided that I was going to follow this guideline, but at times it was extremely difficult. Seeing all of your friends experience the fun of dating, or even worse having to be the chaperone, can make one yearn for the four years to go by faster. I can remember many nights crying to my mom, feeling as if sixteen was never going to come.

I actually counted down the days until my sixteenth birthday at least a month in advance, and I had amazing friends who were so excited for me to finally step into the world of dating. I was sure that the dates were just going to start rolling in, my grandpa had always told me he was going to have to beat the boys off with a stick (my family tends to lie to me a lot, huh?). My sixteenth birthday finally came, annnnndddd nothing. Not one invitation. What had I done wrong? I had followed the commandment I had been given, where was my blessing? An amazing, handsome, funny, member of the church was supposed to move into the ward, and show me that all the waiting had not been for naught. The dating drought continued throughout my next three years of high school. After a while, I accepted the fact that I was most likely never going to date any of the boys from my small town. Instead, I focused on all of the boys I was for sure going to date at my dream college, Brigham Young University. Obviously, I was just in the incorrect geographical location!

The day to move into Helaman Halls at BYU finally arrived, and I was for sure this was the turning point. I can remember going to my first dance on campus, and was being so excited for all of the wonderful young men I was going to meet. Despite this Utopia I had created in my mind, BYU was not the land of endless dates I thought it was going to be. My freshmen year came and went, and I went on all of ,*drumroll please*, one date. I will admit, one date is better than zero, but there is definitely room for improvement. I came home from my first year, feeling like a bit of a failure. I had switched locations, I had tried different hairstyles, I even went to a football game by myself, hoping that I would find some cute guy who was impressed by football knowledge. As one can imagine, I was pretty down in the dumps.

Looking back now, I can see how much the Lord’s hand has been in my life, protecting me and guiding me. Despite the fact that my fourteen year old self felt like not going on a date was for sure the end of the world, I have seen how much it has protected me. By sticking to my standards when I was fourteen, it helped to weed out some of the boys that may have not been a good fit, because they knew I was not willing to compromise my standards. Now, I am sure that some of the reasons I did not date in high school were because there were boys that just weren’t attracted to me that way (shocking, I know), I’d like to believe that others chose not to pursue me because they realized our standards did not match up.

Staying single for twenty-two years has also allowed me to really develop myself, and my self-confidence. I now know what hobbies and passions I enjoy, and which I don’t. I have seen from the example of friend’s relationships, what I desire in a future partner, and what I do not. I have had many opportunities to rely on the Lord, and really develop my testimony of the Savior and how much I need him. I am so thankful for the personal relationship I have developed with my Savior, and I worry had I been distracted by a boy, I personally would not have come to know Christ the way I have. This knowledge has helped to increase my self-confidence, because I know who I am, and I know who I have on my side. I know that I am a Daughter of God, who deserves to be treated as such. I also know that I have a loving Heavenly Father, who is leading and guiding my life. By developing this self-confidence, I personally believe that it aided again in weeding out some of the young men with whom I would not have matched well. I believe a self-confidence, that I didn’t even know I had, was emanating out of me, showing my standards to the world, and scaring off the boys who weren’t able to handle it.😊

So, for those of you who are struggling with a similar situation, take heart! The longer you stay single, the stronger your confidence in yourself becomes. Take the opportunity to develop yourself, and develop a personal relationship with your Savior and Heavenly Father, and trust their timing. To my friends and family who are ever so worried about me reaching old maid status, do not fret! I promise, I am staying in close contact with the Lord, and when he encourages me to pursue someone I will be ready.

Will my first kiss come within the next year? Who knows! Maybe, I will have to go undercover as a high school student, proclaim at the top of my lungs that I am no longer “Ellie Belly”, and stand at the top of a pitcher’s mound as a clock counts down in order to finally receive it. However, I know one day it will come, and because of my experiences, it will be from one heck of a guy.

#dating #BYU #faith #fun