JUST GENERALS? THAT'S SMART
It is always so amazing to me that there are people in this world who have known what they have wanted to be since childhood, and then have the ambition to actually achieve that goal. Olympic Athletes. Prestigious Surgeons. Five Star Chefs. How can one know from such a young age what you want to do for the rest of your life? I can barely decide what outfit I want to wear for church on Sundays, let alone a life-altering decision like career choice.
As I come upon my last couple of semesters of my Associates Degree, the stress is really starting to set in. The people around me are so kind and invested in my life, always asking me what my plans for the future are. As I sheeplishly admit that at the age of twenty-two I still have no earthly idea, the questioner always states, “Oh, just generals? That is really smart”. I agree with their statement that starting with generals is smart, but what do you do when you run out of generals?
It’s not like I haven’t thought of possible career choices. When I was really young I wanted to be an artist. I can feel my BYU roommate laughing at me, as she remembers the time she asked me to help her on a project by tracing a line she had drawn, and I failed. Miserably. As I became older and realized my lack of artistic skills, I began to think of possibly entering the medical field. I had always loved “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” with my dad, and was intrigued by his surgery stories. In high school, I set up my schedule to help me best prepare for my future major of Nursing. Right before I started my first semester at BYU, the Nursing Major had a meeting for all future students. I attended this meeting, and was quickly made aware that Nursing was not the field for me. With a t-shirt slogan that said, “I have no life, so I can save yours”, I knew I would never make the cut for Nursing.
That first year at BYU was rough. I was away from my family, I felt like I was drowning at school, and I had no real motivation. I had no plan as to what I wanted to do with my life, why was I even there? It just felt like there was no point. Luckily, as I have seen countless times in my life, we have a wonderful, loving, merciful Heavenly Father and Savior, who are always willing to give us strength as we turn to them. With their help I was able to make it through that first year. However, I was still at a loss for what I wanted to do career wise. Luckily, I had the wonderful opportunity to ignore this crushing stress by going on a mission. “I’ll have a year and a half to figure out what I want to do. Surely by then I will have it all figured out”. As we all know, I did not have as much time to live in denial as I would have liked. I came home from my brief mission stint as confused as ever.
After quite a while of putting it off, I decided to attend the local college where my parents lived, and enter into their Radiology Technician Program. With the school being a lot smaller, and the program not as intense as BYU Nursing, I felt I had finally found my calling. However, when I called to begin the process of applying to the school, they informed me that they were most likely getting rid of the Radiology program. I’m sorry, what now? I decided to enroll at the college anyway, in hopes that maybe a miracle would occur, and they would keep the program. I think it was my second week at school when they got rid of it. Well, now what?
Many other occupations have entered my mind. Pastry Chef? Medical Assistant? Respiratory Therapist? Nanny? (because as we all know, I am fabulous with children). Nothing seems to fit. I feel like I have exhausted all of my options. I have prayed, studied the scriptures, gone to the temple, fasted, studied it out in my mind. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to latch on to any kind of safety rope to pull me out of this pit. It’s hard, and embarrassing. All of my friends are getting ready to graduate college, and here I am, still chillin in this rut.
The easiest route to take in this situation would be to lose faith.
“Heavenly Father is not there, and he doesn’t answer my prayers”.
“There is no one there to lead and guide my life, and help me make these big life decisions”.
“I am going to just have to mooch off of my parents for the rest of my life”.
Except for the last statement, I am 100% positive that the sentences mentioned above are lies. We really do have a Heavenly Father who is leading and guiding our lives. We really do have a Savior, who has suffered all of our pains, afflictions, and sins, who can give us strength in our difficult times, if we let him. Sometimes it can be so hard to trust the Lord and his timetable, and have the faith that the answers will come. However, I know without a shadow of a doubt, they will. I have seen the Lord’s hand, leading and guiding my life before, such as when He encouraged me to go on a mission, or when He prompted my parents to move from beautiful Pennsylvania to New Mexico. I love the quote that says, “If God isn’t opening a door for you, praise Him in the hallway”. I know that the Lord has a plan for me and my life, and that there is a specific reason he hasn’t revealed it to me yet. I also know, that as I keep going to school, researching different fields of study, and staying close to Him, he will some day reveal it to me. Don’t get discouraged if answers do not come right away. They will. If a twenty-two year old mooch can have faith in the Lord and his timing, then anyone else for sure can.