BABYSITTING: THE WORLD'S BEST TOUR GUIDE
When we first moved to New Mexico, my mom was blessed with the wonderful opportunity to babysit for a young family in town. Over the past twelve years, three amazing little girls have been a part of our home, and I have gained three little sisters. This family is truly apart of our own, now, and I cannot imagine my life without those three little stinkers. Now, having been with the girls five days a week for twelve years, I have learned a lot. Here are the pearls of wisdom I have gained whilst babysitting girls.
One: Painting nails is a must. All three of my little “sisters” loved to get their nails painted. However, there is an exact science to this process. Tip #1: If you are brave enough to try and paint all three sets of hands at once, never just pick who gets to go first. There will be tears, and you will be unable to stop it. I highly recommend rock, paper, scissors as the deciding factor. Tip #2: Always keep your eyes on the two year old. I made the mistake of looking away for one second, and a certain two year old who shall remain nameless managed to get HOT PINK nail polish in her blonde hair. I have never been more scared in my entire life. Tip #3: Somehow, little girls manage to get bored while you paint their nails. If you do not have some form of entertainment on, they will ask you exactly four million times if their nails are dry are not. Take it from me, a children’s cartoon show is a lot less annoying then the repetition of, “They dry yet?”.
Two: Kids say literally whatever is on their minds. Here are some of my favorite comments they have made about me: “Why did you put make up on today?”, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”, “Ellie is the meanest!”. Ahh, music to my ears. Children don’t just save these amazing comments for you, though, they say odd things loud enough for all to hear. Tip #4: Prepare to be embarrassed in public, and in the comfort of your own home, and learn to laugh it off. My favorite memory for this particular pearl happened while we were walking from our car to the dentist’s office. It was a twenty foot walk from the parking lot to the front door, what could possibly happen? As we passed a woman smoking, the then three year old shouts, “SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU!!!”. How kind of my little sister to warn that woman of the dangers of smoking. It was not embarrassing. At all.
Three: The children may or may not think you are the meanest, only because in comparison to your mother, you kind of are. My mom is a sucker for little kids, and those three little stinkers know it. I on the other hand, am not. I have not met one pair of puppy dog eyes that can crack my cold, black heart. My mom will buy them gifts for trips to the dentist, getting straight A’s, and the ever popular November 21st (what, you’ve never heard of that holiday?). So when, the big, bad Ellie comes in and says, “No, you cannot open your Christmas presents on November 29th!”, it is easy to see why I appear to be the Wicked Witch from the South. Tip #5: Find a fine balance between being rational, and letting the small stuff go. I have come to the realization that my mom is going to give the girls every gift ever (no matter what I say), and I need to just let it roll of off my back. When they need my logical, rational thinking, they will come to me for it. I am actually grateful to the girls for opening my eyes to my mom’s own form of Kryptonite. I now know that when I have children of my own, they will never be allowed to be at Grandma’s house unsupervised.
Four: The themes to children’s cartoons will be stuck in your head for eternity. You will never be able to get them out. The familiar lyrics of a children’s cartoon will come to you as you are working out, taking a test, driving in the car, waiting in line at the store. Can you remember the Quadratic Formula for your Trigonometry test? Nope. Don’t worry, you’ve for sure got the lyrics to that “beloved” children’s show locked and loaded. What other information could you possibly need? Tip #6: Recognize that three years from now you will still know the lyrics, and rock it! Bust out those rhymes at your next karaoke night 😉. Another fun treat is when you try to turn off the cartoon. The child will try and convince you that they have never seen this episode, even though you know they have because YOU know the entire plot, backwards and forwards. Tip #7: If you’ve seen it already, change the channel. For your own sanity.
Five: Your food is never really “your food”. As you bring that last delicious bite of ice cream to your mouth, you hear this sweet voice say, “Ooh! I really like ice cream”. With pain in your heart, you sacrifice the last of your ice cream to the child. Tip #8: When preparing food for yourself, always bring extra for the child. For a real treat, sometimes you will go to eat out of the communal bag of chips, only to be told that those chips have been marked by licked, child fingers. Yummy! Tip #9: Just give them the bag. It is theirs now! Baking with a child can be tricky. She somehow always makes the batter her own, by either sneezing in it, licking the spoon and sticking it back in the batter, or just sticking her fingers right in the bowl. They kind of make up for it by looking adorable in their apron, but not completely. Tip #10: Pray the germs bake out. Pray real hard.
Six: Babysitting is a surefire way to test if you are ready (or not) for children. It's like an all expense paid tour of what the future will hold. I am forever grateful to the girls’ mom, because she has helped teach me that children should be far, far in my future. I think taking care of children may be the toughest job, in the entire world. Nothing alerts you to the fact that you are not ready for kids like changing diapers, making food that no one will eat, and saying “Don’t put that in your mouth!” four thousand times a day. Don’t even get me started about potty training. I have nightmares about sitting in the bathroom for hours on end, waiting for the magic moment to finally occur. Can you sense the shivers running down my spine? Tip #11: Let babysitting be your tour guide. For me, babysitting has taught me that I should pump the brakes a little. For others, it may tell them to hit the gas!
All joking aside, I am so grateful for my three little “sisters”. I don’t think I have ever laughed harder than the times they “whisper” to me in the supermarket, or start clapping and cheering while the prince and princess kiss in the movie theater. They give the best hugs when you are sad, and tell it like it is when you sometimes need to hear it. The good times I have had with them show me that someday I do want kids of my own. I know that they really have helped me prepare for motherhood in the future, and help to keep my mom’s desire for grandchildren at bay. They will forever be apart of my family, and I can’t wait to see who they grow up to be. Despite how many times I say the word “NO” in a day, I will always love you girls!