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Negatvie (N)ellie

CHILDHOOD DREAM FULFILLED?


When I was a little girl, I had the wonderful opportunity to take ballet classes. Unfortunately, after we moved to New Mexico, we could not find a dance studio that taught ballet. Ellie’s ballet career, cut so short. My mom is convinced that had we stayed in Pennsylvania, I would have grown up to be a Prima Ballerina (I have seen the videos, I would not have). However, I never lost my love of ballet. The way the dancers move looks so effortless and graceful (see, so not me!), it is amazing how they can tell a story with just their bodies. Since my mom was young, she had always planned on taking her daughter to see The Nutcracker Ballet every year around Christmas time. Financial challenges, coupled with the fact that we live in a small town in Southeastern New Mexico made it impossible for us to ever go and see The Nutcracker together. Finally, this year my mom somehow found tickets! I could not believe we were finally going to see The Nutcracker together!

After the terror that is finals week, the day eventually arrived that my mom and I had been waiting what felt like forever for. Today was the day I would get to see the brave Nutcracker defeat the evil Mouse King, in real life. I couldn’t wait to hit the road, and watch the magic on stage with my best friend by my side. Maybe we could even get a t-shirt, to document this moment in time. As often happens living in a small town, we had to drive about two hours to get to the show (entertainment is few and far between in our town). My mom and I didn’t care, though. We love taking car trips together, it gives us more time to just be the two of us. On the way up, we joked about how funny it would be if this performance turned out to be a local children’s production, instead of a professional company’s performance. How hilarious would that be?

As we drove further and further away from town and civilization, we began to fear that our GPS was leading us in the wrong direction. We kept a positive attitude, though, and hoped for the best. We pulled up to the theatre that was out in the middle of nowhere, (Seriously, some cows were probably grazing in the field next door) quickly exited the truck, and made our way to our seats. After a little bit of shuffling around, we got settled, and began to look at the program that had been given to us. “There sure are a lot of pictures of little kids in here”, I remember thinking. (In my defense, I had a pretty bad migraine that day, so don’t judge!). It began to dawn on us that this was in fact a local children’s production of The Nutcracker. We were going to be the creepy people in the audience, who knew none of the children on stage, and yet had come to watch their performance.

Luckily for us, the show wasn’t composed of just children, there were some young adults and one professional dancer in the company (looking slightly less creepy). The performance was incredible. All of the dancers were amazing, including the little kids! It was amazing to me how much passion and heart read across the faces of some of the ballerinas. You could tell that they really enjoyed what they were doing, and that made the performance even more enjoyable. Their hard work and dedication paid off, and they were able to put on an outstanding performance of The Nutcracker.

So, would I consider this a childhood dream fulfilled? Technically I did get to see a great performance of The Nutcracker, but for sure not the one I was expecting. You know what, I am still going to count it. I am not one who enjoys when there are twists and turns in a plan (once again, stick in the mud). I like to know what is happening, and when it is going to happen. At all times (#balloffun). I usually do not find joy in the spontaneity of life. However, with The Nutcracker Incident of 2017, I did. Maybe it was the blinding headache messing with my perceptions, or the amazing performance those kids put on (maybe it was a combo). The one thing I do know, is that I was able to create an incredible memory with my mom. We were able to laugh at the situation, enjoy the performance, and deepen our bond even further. I think this was a lesson I needed to learn, to find joy in the messes of life. I am going to be pretty glum throughout the rest of my life if I can’t find happiness and laughter in the tough times as well as the good. So, I am forever grateful for that local performance of The Nutcracker. It taught me a lifelong lesson, and gives my mom and I another excuse to go and see a different version.

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