WHY I LEFT THE Y
“Hey, Ellie! You should take Chemistry next semester!”
“Oh, I fulfilled my chemistry requirement at my old college. Sorry!”
“It’s ok. Where did you go before here?
“BYU”
“BYU? Where’s that?
“It’s in Provo, Utah”
“Utah? Why would you leave Utah to come here?”
Besides “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” (FYI, Grandpa, the answer to that will always be no) or, "What are your plans for your life?" (still no idea), this is probably the most common question I get asked. Why on earth would I leave the beauty that is BYU, for Southeastern New Mexico? There are more people to date there (I know dad), a prettier environment (Umm, maybe I really like the dirt?), and more options for school (I don’t know what I want to do anyway, so why pay more money?). I’ll admit, it is a valid question, that actually has many answers. So, to ensure that everyone is on the same page, here are all of the reasons I never went back to the Y.
One, I didn’t have the money to go back. By deciding to go on a mission, I forfeited part of one of the scholarships I had received that paid for a big chunk of my education at BYU. I will never regret the decision I made to go on my mission. It was the greatest experience of my life, and has truly changed me forever. I would make the same decision one thousand times over. I probably could have taken out some student loans in order to finish at BYU, but with a local college nearby that was completely covered by another scholarship, going back just did not seem like the right answer. I prayed to make sure I was making the right decision, and felt that it was not necessary for me to go back to BYU (Boom, Dad!)
Two, I did not want to go back to BYU. BYU is an amazing school, and I am so grateful for my time spent there. However, I did have a rough first year at the Y, which made it difficult for me to have the desire to go back. As I thought of having to return to that campus, I just felt really anxious and stressed. There were just too many bad memories associated with BYU, and I couldn’t bring myself to go back. However, I will forever bleed Cougar blue. Just from afar 😉.
Three, the class sizes at the Y are huge. BYU is a pretty big school, with students attending from all around the world. This provides lots of opportunities to make new friends, and be exposed to different cultures, but it also means sometimes you are in classes with over 100 people. There is nothing wrong with that, and some people really like the large class size, but I was not a huge fan. I had incredible professors at BYU, who were always willing to work with students when they needed it, but I missed the intimacy of small classrooms. I am so much more comfortable at my local college. Here, my professors know that I like to go by Ellie instead of Elisabethe, I tend to participate more in class because it is smaller, and I am able to become acquainted with a bigger percentage of my classmates (this point maybe be due to the fact that I was pretty shy at BYU, but why pull threads in my own logic? 😉). I know a small school isn’t for everyone, but for me it has been a great fit.
Finally, I missed my family like crazy. I can still remember all throughout senior year of high school, my best friends and I would day dream together about leaving our small town and seeing the world. Well, they did in fact see the world, and I ended up right back where we started. I had no idea how much I was going to miss my family when I left, but it was like a slap in the face when I realized I couldn’t run to my dog for a hug when I was blue. Coming home allowed my family and I to grow even closer together. My dad and I have always loved watching BYU Sports together, because it is a great way for us to bond. (In high school we would stay up way to late on week nights to support the Basketball Team. I fell asleep on him during the semifinal for the WCC!). When I was at BYU, I attended as many sporting events as I could, and would try and text him as he watched at home on the TV. “Did you see that drive?” “That was a beautiful pass!”. However, often times the service in the stadium would be terrible, or I would get so caught up in the game I could forget to text him! (daughter of the year award goes to…). Now that I am back at home, we get to park ourselves on the couch, and faithfully cheer on our Cougars together.
Another huge blessing of coming back home, is how much time I was able to spend with my little brother. That little stinker is currently serving a mission for our church in Montana, and has already been out for over a year. The time went by so fast, and yet still seems to drag. Had I gone back to BYU, I may have been home in time to see him off, but I never would have been able to spend as much time with him as I did. During my first semester at my local college, he was no longer in high school, but instead was in the process of putting in his papers. He was home so much those couple of months, and we were able to create some awesome memories. Playing video games, mocking our parents, binge watching TV shows (all of the important activities). Those are memories that will last a lifetime. I know I would have regretted losing that time with him, had I gone to BYU.
So, now you know why I decided not to go back to the Y. I know it isn’t a decision that would work for everyone, but I know it was the best decision for me. That is one of the greatest lessons this whole experience has taught me, you have to do what is right for you. I know there are many people who believe I would be married now, had I been able to get it together and go back to the Y (highly doubtful). Maybe going back to the Y would have worked for them, but at that point in my life it was not the right decision for me. It can be so easy to worry about what other people think of us, but in the end it doesn’t really matter. As long as we are in touch with our Heavenly Father and what he wants for us, it doesn’t matter what other people think. This is a lesson I am still constantly learning, but it is one I know I am far better at because of this experience.