FINALLY UNDERSTANDING CHRISTMAS
The Holiday Season is such a wonderful time of year. The chill in the air, the warmth of hot chocolate filling your soul, and the jolly feeling that surrounds each day. Christmas just feels like home to me. I love watching Classic Christmas movies with my mom, making Christmas Brunch with my dad (I make the blueberry muffins, he fries the oysters. It is a family tradition, don’t judge.), and playing chess with my younger brother (this only happened a few times, I don’t have the patience for chess). The Holiday season gives wonderful opportunities to gather with friends and family, serve others, and eat all of the things. However, I realized that it wasn’t until this Christmas Season that I finally understood the real reason we celebrate.
I was very blessed to be born into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and was taught from a young age why we celebrate Christmas. As a family we would read Luke 2, set up our Nativity Scene, or sometimes even have the opportunity to act it out. Even though I knew that on Christmas we celebrate Jesus Christ’s birth, the magnitude of this event never sunk in for me as a child. I sang the hymns, made so many crafts of the Nativity scene, and listened to my mother sing Silent Night to me in German, but never connected these things to the wonderful gift our Heavenly Father gave us. Christ, himself. As many kids are, I was instead obsessed with Santa Clause. Singing silly Christmas songs, tearing open presents on Christmas morning, and making cookies. That is what came to mind when I thought of Christmas.
Looking back on my most recent Christmas Morning’s, I recognize that I still didn’t really connect in my mind what Christmas is all about. I read Luke 2 before bed each Christmas Eve, tried to find ways to serve my friends and family through perfect gifts, and made sure that my sweet Primary Children knew who they were celebrating. And yet, I was still at a loss. I still could not connect the fact that our loving Heavenly Father really sent his beloved son to be sacrificed for us, to the Christmas Season. People for years and years had prayed for this moment to arrive, and finally their prayers had been answered. A Savior was born. What was I thinking about on Christmas Eve? Two Christmases ago my mind was completely preoccupied by the thought of having to leave my family for eighteen months to go to Michigan. Last Christmas, my brother had just left to serve the wonderful people of Montana, and my family and I were anxiously waiting the call from our sweet Elder.
This Christmas, everything has finally sunk in. It is clear to me, the magnitude of this momentous occasion, and why we truly celebrate the Savior’s birth. I chock this epiphany all up to the trials I have had over the last few years. 2014-2017 have truly been some of the roughest years of my life, but they have brought me some of the biggest blessings, and have helped to ensure the foundation of my testimony in the Savior. At BYU, I learned that we can find comfort in the scriptures, and that the Savior truly suffered for my pains and afflictions, so he could know how to comfort me best. Through my journey to regain my faith, and many, many other mistakes I have made in my life, I have learned that repentance is real. Through the Savior, all of the mess-ups we commit can truly be forgiven, and through Him, we can begin to draw closer to Heavenly Father again. When I had to leave my mission early, I had to learn to use the Atonement to buoy me up, and remind me that I had served a fulfilling mission, and that the Lord was proud of me. Finally, through my trial of migraines, I have learned that the Savior really can strengthen us when we call out to him. Many times, I have gone to school with a headache, and each time I felt the Savior’s power helping me to retain the information I was learning, despite the distraction.
What humbling experiences all of these have been for me! It still blows my mind that the Savior truly suffered on the Cross for me, so he could help me overcome my sins and my trials. I have truly felt his hand, his strength, his comfort, his forgiveness, and his peace in my life. How did I not see this sooner? How did I not connect that these blessings are WHY we celebrate Christmas? Everyone’s conversion process is different, and progresses at different rates. I do not know why all of the puzzle pieces are finally fitting together for me, but I am so grateful they are. It makes the Christmas Season that much sweeter. It brings tears to my eyes as I sing the Christmas hymns, and think of Heavenly Father sacrificing his son, and the Savior sacrificing himself for me. I find joy in serving others, not only because it makes the person being served feel special, but also because it makes Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ happy to see a Child of God being served (Obviously, I have years of serving to make up for, since I am just realizing this now). Even though often times it feels like there is no way we can repay the Gift we have been given, it still feels incredible to try.
I know that Christ truly suffered for every single one of us. I have had the wonderful opportunity to use His Atonement so much in the past few years, and I am so grateful for each and every trial (something I thought I would never say). Each trial has allowed me to grow closer to my Savior, and learn to use his strength and his knowledge. Each year, we have the wonderful opportunity to reflect on all we have been blessed with, and all of the times the Savior has aided us. A Savior truly was born in Bethlehem, and he really can help us, if we allow him to. The past few years, I have finally allowed him to, and I am never turning back. Through serving others, I hope they are able to feel the Savior’s love for them. It is always so humbling to me that the Lord is willing to use us to help other people, especially when I am so inadequate. However, I know with his help, I can become the best version of myself, and serve others as he wishes. Finally, after twenty-two years, I feel the joy those Wise Men and Shepherds felt as they looked to the Heaven’s and saw the star. I truly understand the meaning of Christmas.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints puts out a wonderful Christmas message each year, and this year’s almost brought me to tears (Remember! cold,black heart up in here). If you have a few minutes, please take the time to watch it. There are also twenty-five accompanying videos, that give suggestions on how we can be a tool in the Savior’s hands, and serve other’s this Christmas season. I know it has truly inspired me to think outside of myself, and become more like Him. I hope you have a wonderful Holiday Season, filled with love, joy, family, and promptings from the Spirit. #LighttheWorld