WHY I STARTED BLOGGING
As I have stated many, many times, I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do with my life. Every plan I make for the future seems to fall through the cracks in the sidewalk, and I am left as clueless as ever. After trying to figure out my life without the Lord’s help (Worst idea I have ever had), I have come to understand that we truly need the Lord’s guidance in our lives. It brings me great comfort to know that even though I have no idea what the future holds, there is a higher power that does. However, that does not stop the embarrassment that always comes when I am asked what my plans are (this is literally every family function). I am trying my best to stay close to the Lord, so I am open to whatever His plans are for me. However, lately it has seemed like the plans aren’t coming.
Every summer, we go up to Utah to visit with our family members (apparently, we are the only brave ones willing to venture outside of the state of Utah 😉). This past summer, we were staying at my maternal Grandparent’s house, and my Grandpa again began to ask me what the plan was for school, and life. (Oh, no. Here we go). As I told him the latest harebrained plan I had come up with, I began to feel anger and sorrow well up in my chest as he discouraged me from pursuing that plan. It’s not like I wasn’t trying to figure out what to do with my life. (I’m saving up the money in my Germany Jar to get to my favorite Soccer Player, Grandpa, but these things take time!) As cousins came to visit, and I heard about all of the success they were having in their lives, it began to be hard to feel good about myself (I should have just been feeling proud for them. Oh, well. Hindsight is 20/20). My mother had told me to enjoy being young, and that the answers would come in time, but sometimes it can be so hard to have faith. Honestly, I didn’t really want to grow up yet, anyway. Why was everyone always on my case about this decision?
As Fall approached, I began to realize it was time to buck up and pick career. I told myself by November I needed to have this whole situation straightened out. I could not attend another family function if I didn’t have some sort of plan brewing. So, I researched different schools, looked at the programs my school offered, studied my scriptures, went into General Conference with the obvious question, aaaannnnnndddd nothing. I still had no earthly idea what I was going to with my life. Maybe I should just mooch off of my parents for the rest of my life. Mom says she would love it (My dad feels slightly different). Then, an answer came in the most unlikely of places.
I was sitting outside of my Biology Lab, waiting with my fellow students for the professor to arrive. As we waited, one of my classmates noticed an interesting flyer posted on the Bulletin Board. The flyer, written by a sweet lady, pleaded for guidance in the world of computers. As my professor opened the door to our lab, I quickly put the flyer out of my mind and focused on making it through the next two and half hours of scientific discovery (Don’t worry everyone, I somehow survived). As I left the building after completing the lab, I couldn’t get the flyer out of my head. I called my mom on the phone, to tell her I was headed home, and mentioned the flyer. For those of you who don’t know my mom, she is a sucker for anyone who needs help. Animals, children, the losing team in a sporting event, you name what you need and she will get it for you (I obviously could stand to be more like her). My mother began to beg me to help this sweet lady with her computer needs. Okay, first off, finals are coming up. I for sure do not have time in my life for this task. Second, I know next to nothing about computers. I am not going to be any help to this woman. However, our merciful Heavenly Father encouraged (maybe pushed) me to head back into the building, and take down this woman’s phone number. Even if I couldn’t help her, at least I could have a clear conscience knowing I tried.
Over the next few weeks, I began to meet with my kind, new friend. I went into this situation thinking I would be helping her with tasks such as writing a document, or creating a powerpoint . Boy, was I wrong. She wanted help creating a website. (Ok, I was for sure never going to be able to help her with this) As I walked into the library to meet with her one day, I had a fool-proof plan to enlighten her to the fact that I could not help her anymore. However, before I walked in, I had said a prayer in my heart, asking for guidance as to whether or not I should continue helping her. (Obviously the Lord would understand my dilemma, and my friend and I would be able part ways happily) When she asked if we could meet again, the word “Yes” came out of my mouth before I could stop it. Great, now I have to figure out how to create a website. As the weeks went on, with the obvious help of the Lord, I was able to somehow help my new friend polish and set up her website.
The idea of creating a blog had been dancing around in my head for about a year and a half, but I had never actually considered it. I thought it was a silly pipedream, something that only others who were more skilled could pursue. (Plus, I am about as cautious as they get, and creating a blog seemed way to scary). However, as I helped my new friend set up her website, and later her blog, I began to feel many impressions that I needed to create a blog of my own. This is one of the scariest answers I have ever received, and one I have had to talk myself into again, and again. However, I found that as I have pushed on, and had faith in the Lord and the strength and guidance he gives me, I have fallen more and more in love with blogging. I am so grateful to the Lord, for encouraging me to serve. It has given me a new friend, and has given me answers to my prayers. I am also thankful to my new friend, who has helped me to step outside of my comfort zone, and given me the courage to pursue a new passion.
Now, I am not saying blogging is going to be a career path for me (I am skeptical that anyone besides my friends and family will read this), however, I do know this will be a learning experience. Maybe it will help me to determine a career path I do want to follow, or maybe I just needed to learn to be less cautious, and take risks in life. Maybe it is just another pathway to serve others. Whatever the case, this experience has for sure strengthened my testimony that the Lord does hear our cries, and answers our prayers. I am not quite sure what the specific reason is for my blogging, yet, but I am enjoying the ride while I can.
P.S. I am terrified to tell my Grandpa this is the plan right now. Send help!