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Negatvie (N)ellie

THE WEEK I SUBBED IN SEMINARY


As the week of April 2nd approached, my entire soul was filled with complete and utter dread. This was the week that I had been asked to substitute teach for early morning Seminary (early morning Bible study). How was I, a twenty-two-year-old with what might be described as a child’s-level understanding of the Gospel, going to be able to explain in-depth concepts to teenagers? These teenagers face adversities every day, such as peer pressure, questions, stress, and countless others. There was no way I was going to be able to help them. Despite the fact that I knew I had served my full time mission, it was only a month-and-a-half long. That left me feeling a little unqualified for the job. Plus, having to wear a skirt every morning is just not my thing.

Luckily for me, I live with my own personal superhero. My sweet mother offered to fill in for me, and teach the Seminary students (I know, I know, I am living with my own personal angel, who I obviously do not deserve). As I breathed a sigh of relief at being let off the hook, I couldn’t rid myself of this nagging feeling that I needed to substitute for Seminary, not my mother. Being the incredibly spiritual person that I am, I managed to push those feelings down, chocking them up to feeling guilty about throwing my mom under the bus. She had offered, though. Who was I to deprive her of that opportunity to serve? Nope, everything was fine. I didn’t need to teach Seminary. I had too many things going on in my own life as it was. I really didn’t have the time to teach Seminary (As if my mom doesn’t have four million more things to do than I do). It’ll be fine.

As I’m sure you can guess, ‘twas not fine. The Saturday before April 2nd approached, and I was doing a killer job at shoving those feelings down. My mother’s only request was that I go to the permanent Seminary teacher’s house, to retrieve the keys and learn what lesson plan they were on. Obviously, that was the least I could do! I hopped in the car, ready to complete my role in this ordeal that was filling in for Seminary. As I listened to the sweet teacher speak, I tried to keep a log of all of the rules and guidelines for teaching teenagers in the wee hours of the morning. Of course, I was only keeping track so I could adequately report them back to my mom. I didn’t need to know any of this stuff. Then, all of a sudden, I was hit with this surreal, excited, happy feeling about teaching Seminary. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I needed to teach Seminary the next week. Right then and there, I actively decided to take back my role as substitute (I am as shocked as you are).

As I drove home, the realization hit me that I was going to have to teach the Gospel, to teenagers, in the morning, before I would even have the chance to have breakfast. That happy, excited feeling quickly vanished, and was replaced with fear and irritation (I know, a negative attitude about things doesn’t even sound like me). I had so much homework to do the next week, how in the world was I going to write papers for school and prepare a Seminary lesson each day? Monday morning rolled around way to quickly, and with a solid fiveish hours of sleep, I drove to the church building, praying for the help I desperately needed.

Well, it is now April 5th, and I am proud to say everyone has made it out alive. Over the past couple of days, while teaching teenagers in the morning, I have learned quite a few invaluable lessons:

  1. We have the best youth in the entire world.

They are so willing to help and participate, and they astound me with their knowledge of the Gospel. They are lightyears ahead of where I was at that age, and I am forever grateful for their sweet, inspiring testimonies. I am also incredibly grateful for the fact that even though I am a terrible teacher, they still came back every day. They are the real MVPs.

  1. Promptings from the Spirit are the most tender of mercies the Lord can gift us with. 

I went into this week hoping to just make it through (if we are being real). However, I have truly come to love teaching those sweet kids. Learning Gospel principles in the morning fills your day with the sweetest of spirits. I was happier, kinder, and more positive (if that is not a miracle in and of itself then I don’t know what is). In the week prior to my substitute duties, things had ben sort of rough on the Hot Mess Express that is my life. I was just feeling super down and lost. The Lord truly knew what I needed at this moment in time, even if I didn’t (Apparently, Seminary was the answer. Who would have guessed that?). Learning with the youth of the church each morning has gifted me with hope, happiness, and a stronger faith in my Savior and Heavenly Father. I was once again reminded of how much They love me, and how I can always trust Them and their plan for me. I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten out of my rut without this week of pondering, learning, and testifying about the Gospel. 

  1. The Lord truly qualifies those who He calls.

As I started studying the lessons for the week, I was reassured by the fact that I at least knew what was going on in the chapters we were studying. Then, halfway through the week, a curveball was thrown my way, and his name is Isaiah. Yup, we were studying the Isaiah chapters in 3 Nephi of the Book of Mormon (Oh no, this is the end.) Honestly, I don’t know if I have ever really completely understood those chapters. I just kind of push through, looking for any spiritual message I can latch on to. How in the world was I going to unscramble these passages, and then explain them to others? With the Lord’s help, that’s how! Miraculously, after much study and prayer, I was able to understand those chapters well enough to explain them to others, and actually make some sense when I was talking. I know that would have never occurred without the help of the Lord. I could literally feel my mind being opened, as the Spirit blessed me with more understanding. Will I remember any of those enlightenments after this week? We shall see.

I am forever grateful for the opportunity to teach Seminary this week (Once again, just as shocked as you are). That sentence was never supposed to come out of my mouth. It was supposed to be “Whew, glad that’s over. Let’s hope I did such a terrible job that they never ask me to do it again!”. Fortunately, (or possibly unfortunately, I can’t decide) that was not the case. I truly loved teaching the sweet spirits of our youth and am humbled that the Lord entrusted me with that task. I know that this past week has truly blessed me more than it has blessed them. My testimony has been strengthened, my heart has been filled with hope, and my mindset has been realigned. I never thought subbing for Seminary would bless me so much.

P.S. This is NOT an endorsement to become a full-time Seminary teacher. I repeat, NOOOOOOTTTT. Let’s not punish the children in that way.

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