FINALS: AS TOLD BY ME
Imagine: It’s Fall 2014, and my roommate and I are jammin’ out to Taylor Swift’s latest album in our closet sized dorm room. As we attempted to ignore the mountains of homework we were drowning in (Never take Writing 150 and Anthropology at the same time. Just don’t), we dreamt of the upcoming weeks when we could finally return home to New Mexico. It seemed like those weeks were never going to pass us by, and we were for sure not going to make it through unscathed. Suddenly, we had a brilliant idea to make the time go by faster! Lets make a grid of sticky notes on the back of our door, counting down the days until we get to leave! And each day, we can take turns ripping one of in anger and success!!! Wow, ripping off those sticky notes everyday is just going to make the time fllllyyy by.
Alright, looking back the sticky note plan was pretty pathetic, and yet, I still use it to this day. At the beginning of every semester, I write the number of weeks down on a pack of sticky notes. Every week I successfully make it through, I rip the sticky note off, crumple it with a feeling of triumph, and toss it into the trashcan (#nothinbutnet). As I slowly rip off those sticky notes each week, I dream of when the “1” sticky note will finally grace me with its presence. “Things will be better by then!” I think with hope. “There is no way I will still be thiiisss stressed out by the time finals week rolls around”. As you may have already guessed, I am for sure wrong. Although finals week does have the faint smell of vacation to it, it also has the scent of salt and despair (I did a lot of crying and running this week). Sometimes it seems as though you will never be able to make it through the piles and piles of homework.
So, because my life is so incredibly interesting (everyone is just hanging on the edge of their seat to see how this one ends), I thought I would take you on the roller coaster that was the past weekish of my life. What fun! 😉 So, without further ado, here is a play by play of my exact thoughts and feelings during finals week (Brace yourselves).
Day 8:
Ok, seriously, what teacher throws in an extra project right before the end of the semester? Sir, this was not in the syllabus, you did not alert me to any changes made to the syllabus, and therefore I will not do it.
Ok, obviously I am going to have to do it, in order to not fail, but I will NOT be happy about it.
How in the world am I supposed to create a TWEVLE slide PowerPoint on an article that is not even a full page long? My pictures are going to be taking up a heck of a lot of room.
Two hours later, and it is done. Don’t even care if it is good anymore. Can’t look at it anymore. I will proof read it tomorrow and turn it in with my eyes closed so I don’t actually have to look at the monstrosity I have created.
Day 7:
Why did I say I would proofread the power point today?? I cannot stand looking at those slides anymore. Ugggh, time to just rip the band aid off and get it done.
Quick, turn it in before you have more time to think about how terrible it is!
Phew, it is turned in! Let’s go check it off the list and see how many more projects I have left. Is someone adding assignments to this list? I swear there were not this many a few days ago.
I really should start studying for my finals next week. Nahh, I have put in a ton of work today, I mean, I proofread that WHOLE power point. I for sure deserve a break. I’ll start studying tomorrow.
Day 6:
I really should edit my paper for Humanities, but I really don’t want to. I wrote that paper, I know how bad it stinks, and I know that no amount of grammatical corrections is going to be able to save it. Plus, I have had a rough week! However, I have cried not nearly as much as I thought I was going to! Holding in on all of those tears was hard work, I deserve a break!
Ok, first I will finish filling out my study guide for my New Mexico History class, and then I will relax.
Did we even read about that guy? I feel if I can’t remember him, is he really significant to fill up a whole question on a study guide? (He was. He was for sure significant enough).
Ok, I managed to finish the study guide (mostly). The few I don’t know the answers to I will just have to wing it. It’s multiple choice. I’ll be fine.
Why am I the only person who has posted to our final discussion board? How am I supposed to discuss anything if no one else has posted anything?
“Wow, Ellie! This post you made is incredible! I agree with literally everything you said!”.
“Thanks, Ellie! I felt it was some of my best work”.
Day 5:
The dreaded day has come. I have to edit my Humanities paper today. Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think. Maybe you had a stroke of genius while writing it, and the teacher won’t immediately rip it to bits and throw it in the garbage. Buck up and edit your paper.
The deed has been completed. I don’t even care if it is good anymore, the number of words needed is on paper, and I am going to call that a win.
How is there still no other discussion posts?!?!
Oh, crap. I forgot to start studying for my test. Oh, well. Most of them are open book, so I am sure I will be fine. It’ll be fine.
Day 4:
Alright, so this is a busier Saturday than I expected, but it is all going to be fine. I have about four hours blocked off for this afternoon, I’ll take my Humanities test then. Even though it is open book, I know it is going to probably be my most annoying test to take, so I just need to get it done.
Ahh, my friend Mr. Migraine. How nice of you to join us! Oh, you don’t want me to take my final today? Well, alright, you are the boss!
At least the I can turn in the essay. Then one assignment’s fate will be out of my hands.
Day 3:
Ahh, Sunday. Surely my blessings for going to church today will carry over into this week’s tests. Right?
*Stressfully tries to relax with my family*
Is passing all of these classes really worth taking those tests this week? I am beginning to doubt!
What time should I plan on taking my tests tomorrow? If I get up really early and do it, maybe my brain won’t have time to compute what I am doing
and realize how annoyed it is. Sounds like a solid plan to me.
Day 2:
*Alarm goes off*
Ughh, why did I think getting up early to take this test was a smart idea? Well, I am up now. Better just get it over with.
Ahh, wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be! Don’t get me wrong, it was terrible, but there are varying degrees of terrible, right?
Maybe I should just take my New Mexico History test today, too? I feel pretty prepared for it, and that way it will just be over. Yup, I am just going to review the study guide a couple more times and get it done.
Ahh, success! Now I can live in denial about the British Literature Final I have to take tomorrow.
Pretend it’s not there. You are already on summer vacation, with no textbooks to read. Bask in that glory.
Getting up early was a good plan, it really tricked my brain. I am going to do that again.
Day 1:
Well, guess who slept through there alarm? It’ll be fine. I’ll just take my test while the child is at preschool, so I will have no distractions.
Oh. My. Lanta. Why is it always essay questions?? I have lost the will to care about this topic! I cannot scrape up the effort to write an essay about this topic.
However, once I am done with this one, I am done. It will be summer! Alright, I can do this. Doesn’t matter if it is particularly great, just get words on the page.
Whooohooo! I AM DONE!!! I never have to remember another fact about the Victorian Age or analyze another poem again!
Looking back, it wasn’t really a roller coaster. More like a carousel of negativity (Every day of my life reaffirms my choice for the name Negative (N)ellie). Round and round and round it goes, where it stops? Ahh, more negativity! However, it is done. Summer is here, and I cannot wait to run outside, reeking of sunscreen, and not going over facts about textbooks in my head. For now, I am just going to live in denial about the fact that in six months I will be doing it all over again.