TEENAGE LIES
As many of you know, the assignment that the Lord has asked me to take on in church is being a leader for the Young Women (if you didn’t know that, click here 😉). Being a leader has seriously been one of my favorite callings ever. Hanging out with the girls has brought me so much laughter, joy, silliness, and distractions from the world (it also makes me feel REALLY old sometimes 😉). I see all of the difficult things the youth of the world have to go through today, and am amazed at how they just take it in stride. As I reflect on the difficult experiences I had as a youth, I realize that many of them came on because of the lies I was telling myself. So, in hopes that my sweet young women will actually learn something from the 4 million words I spew at them in a day, I present the top ten lies I told myself when I was a teenager. I hope my young women are able to read these somewhat embarrassing stories, learn from these lies, and remember how amazing they truly are.
1. Life Will be Perfect
When I was a teenager, I thought I had the perfect plan for my life, and did not expect anything to happen that would sway that plan. I was going to go to BYU for Nursing, go on a mission to Germany, come home, get married, finish school, and then waaaaaayyyyy down the road have some children (Let’s stick to the plan, mom!). Anyone who has been here for more than two seconds knows that this is not how my life went. Although it took me a while, I have finally learned that an imperfect life is great a life. Life isn’t meant to go as planned! I know that I would not have had all of these chances to grow and change, had I not been thrown these three million curveballs (however, I will admit that I am getting slightly tired of said curveballs). We have to learn to enjoy the imperfections and curves in the road, because the Lord knows what He is doing. I know He will bring us to some of our happiest places with all of those twists and turns.
2. You Will be Perfect
Some may say I am a bit of a perfectionist, and I would say that is a bit of an understatement. When I was a teenager (and sometimes in my twenties), I could only see failures as just that, failures. Through the many, many, many mistakes I have made over the past few years, I have come to see that our failures can be some of our much-needed lessons. Heavenly Father knew we would mess up, that is why He provided a Savior to help us overcome those mistakes. Through the Atonement, we don’t need to be perfect. The Savior is there so that when we make those mistakes, He can use them to help us change for the better.
3. You Hate Running
Ahh, this may be one of the biggest lies I have ever told myself. Although, in my defense, running in the New Mexico heat at three in the afternoon is not the tactic I would use to get anyone to love running. I seriously hated it. Now, I cannot imagine my life without it. There are so many days when I am feeling overwhelmed, angry, upset, or sad, and I know the only thing that will help these feelings to subside is a run. It is such an incredible moment when you can feel the emotions physically leaving your body with every step. I am so grateful that I was able to overcome this lie.
4. You Won’t Miss Your Family.
Since before I can even remember, my biggest dream was to go to BYU. My high school years seemed to draaaaggg by, and I felt I was never going to get to the magical land of Provo, where Creamery ice cream was always available. I was for sure that BYU was the place where I was going to shine, and I was never, ever going to want to come home (boy, was I wrong!). The thought of missing my family never even crossed my mind. Then, with the final hugs and waves goodbye, I knew there was no way in heck I was going to be able to make it through that first semester without my family. I even missed the Stinker, which I would have never thought possible! My family have truly come to be my best friends. I wish I would have realized that when I was a teenager, and spent as much time as I possibly could have with them. They are some of my favorite people in the world, and I am so grateful they are right by my side for this crazy ride.
5. What Others Think is Really Important
I lied (shocker), this is the biggest lie I have ever told myself. When I was a teenager, I thought it was so important what others thought of me. I would over analyze what I wore, what I said, what my grades were, what my plans for the future were, hopeful I was putting up a good image to my peers. There’s nothing like coming home early from your mission, moving back in with your parents, and still not knowing what you are going to do with your life to kick caring about what others think right to the curb 😉. I have truly come to learn that as long as I am in tune with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, and doing what they have asked me to do, it really doesn’t matter what others think. Sure, it would be nice to have more of a plan for my life, but I know it will come (Plus, I really like to live on the wild side of life 😉). My life may not be coming together as fast as I would like, or in the way others expected it to, but who cares? I know that my Savior and Heavenly Father are proud of me, and I am working my hardest to be in tune with them every step of the way. As long as they are happy with me, does it really matter what anyone else thinks?
6. Your Hair Defines You
This is a really dumb one, so buckle up. From the age of like twoish to about sixteen, I had naturally platinum blonde hair. It was one of the physical features I got complimented on the most, and I loved it. Then, slowly but surely, it started darkening to this strawberry blonde color. I. Was. Devastated. I was the girl with the naturally platinum blonde hair, who was I going to be now?!? (I warned you in advance that this one was dumb). A few years down the road, I am actually really grateful for the change in my hair color. A. I feel that this shade of blonde matches my personality a little better B. It taught me that I could not identify myself by just one quality. Heavenly Father did not create me and say, “This will be the girl with the naturally platinum blonde hair”. He gave me good qualities, bad qualities, talents to cultivate, and weaknesses to work on, and they all make up who I am. I am a Child of God, and my hair does not define me.
7. You Hate New Mexico
All throughout high school, my friends and I dreamed of the day when we could leave the area we had lovingly nicknamed, “The Armpit of New Mexico”. Our big dreams were taking us all over the country, and we could not wait for them to start. Well, after living in both Utah and Michigan, I can honestly say that I love New Mexico. It is the place I call home, and the place where I feel the most comfortable. I love the desert air, the big skies, the small town life, and even the heat. New Mexico is the place where I feel I can truly be myself, and I am dreading the day when I have to leave it behind.
8. Repentance is a Punishment
This one kind of goes hand in hand with #2. When you believe that you have to be perfect, repentance may often seem like a punishment for the failure you have made. I am here to tell you that it is not a punishment. Sure, repentance can be a hard, uncomfortable, heart wrenching process, but these qualities do not even begin to encompass the definition of repentance. It is a time to change, it is an opportunity to grow closer to our Savior and Heavenly Father, it helps us to lift our heavy hearts, and it is truly a blessing. Repentance was not a punishment Heavenly Father created for those of us who fail, it was the incredible plan He created to help us feel better after we make a mistake. I am so grateful for the process of repentance. I know that when I use it, I truly am forgiven for the mistakes I have made. What an incredible gift that is.
9. I Will Never be That Leader
When I was sixteen, I never imagined the future callings and responsibilities I would have in the church (remember, I had an important hair crisis to worry about!). I can tell you one thing, though, I never would have imagined that I would be that leader. You know what I am talking about. The one that is dancing like a crazy woman with the youth, probably embarrassing them, and having the time of her life. And yet, here we are. I am that leader. I channel my inner Napoleon on that dance floor and am not ashamed of who sees it. What has shocked me even more is that I have had more fun at these dances then I did at the ones when I was young! It is so nice to not care what anyone thinks, and just have fun with my girls. They don’t even run away from me when I do the sprinkler! How kind is that?!?
10. You Hate Writing
In high school, I could not imagine a worse punishment then having to write an essay. It took up too much time, I wasn’t very good at it, and why did it always have to be like two billion pages long?!? I couldn’t wait until the day I was done with college and would never have to write another essay again. Well, would you look at me now? Here I am, writing the world’s longest blog, for fun. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined CHOOSING to write when I was in high school. However, writing this blog has truly been one of the greatest experiences of my life. It has taught me so many life lessons, helped me to work through some of the tough trials in life, and has brought me closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior. Even though I was terrified at the beginning of this process (click here if you want to read that story), I am forever grateful for the lessons writing has brought me. I truly love it now.
So, there are ten lies I told myself when I was a teenager (there are probably four trillion more, but this blog is getting a little long). I am so grateful I was able to see the light when it comes to these lies. Learning the truth has brought me so much happiness and peace. I am sure, seven years from now, I will be thinking (or writing, who knows!) about the ten lies I told myself in my twenties. I hope that if anyone else is telling themselves these lies, they will remember that if Negative (N)ellie can overcome them, anyone can.
P.S. Love you sweet Young Women, always remember how special and incredible you are.