WHAT DO YOU DO?
We all have that thing. The trial, struggle, difficulty, or flaw, that we just cannot seem to shake, no matter how many times we try to improve it. We try over, and over, and over again to push through and defeat the challenge. Sometimes, we are successful, and it feels as if we are on top of the world. However, sometimes, we fall short, repeatedly, and it begins to seem as if there is no way out. We get discouraged, feel overwhelmed, and sometimes begin to wonder if the Lord truly hears the prayers we plead to Him. What do you do when you feel this way? When all hope seems lost, and you cannot understand why the Lord does not take the challenge away from you, what do you do?
I am perfect, so I do not have one of these trials. (Obviously 😉). In all seriousness, I too have many challenges that I just cannot seem to overcome, and there is a particular one right now that is really giving me a run for my money. I feel like I have attempted to tackle this struggle from every angle, and nothing seems to stick. It seems to be this endless cycle of failing miserably, psyching myself up to go at it again, hanging in tough for a minute, and then crashing and burning. For some reason, I love to repeat this cycle, again, and again, and again (One might say it is a favorite hobby of mine). Where does one turn when they feel they have exhausted all options? Prayer, of course! (although, if I prayed for continued help during the good times, I probably wouldn’t have so many bad times)
Now, I am not saying this is every time, but there are a few rounds of the cycle where it truly feels like the Lord isn’t there. It feels like He is not answering my prayers, like He doesn’t really care if I make it through this trial or not. I begin to believe that this is something I am just going to have to get through on my own. THAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE I HAVE EVER HEARD. It can be so easy to become angry with Heavenly Father during those hard times. I’ve gotten angry with Him countless times, wondering why He won’t help me, why He doesn’t care, and why in the world He won’t just take the problem away. Wouldn’t that be so much easier? If our problems could just be prayed away? (I am not going to lie, I am highly in favor of that plan)
Now, I am obviously no expert, but I do know that the Lord sent us down here to learn. He wants us to become the best versions of ourselves we can be, and sometimes that process includes dealing with difficult trials. Despite the fact that I haaattteee my current challenge, I do know that it makes me a better person. My challenge humbles me, encourages me to draw closer to my Savior and Heavenly Father, and allows me to connect with others who struggle with the same thing. I know this trial is shaping me into the person Heavenly Father and my Savior want me to be, and that is why I have to keep going. What I see as a failure cycle, the Lord sees as a polishing process, where He helps shape me into my best form. Each time I fail, I learn something new, or become a little bit different. This isn’t a failing process, it is a changing process, and I guess I just have a lot of changing to do.
Although it is great to know that the Lord uses our trials and tribulations to make us better, that doesn’t mean that they don’t stink to go through. They totally stink to go through, especially when it is the same struggle you just went through the month before. However, I know with their help, this trial will not defeat me. I may have to get up and face that challenge a thousand more times, but it will never completely get me down. I think that is kind of a victory in and of itself. Sometimes, the test of the strongest is just to see who is willing to get back up and keep fighting. Plus, we have one of the biggest coaches in our corner, our Savior and Heavenly Father. Although at times it seems as if They are not there, they are always there, cheering us on, and creating miracles in the wings. Even in my darkest of times, I have felt Their love and support, as they encourage me to keep going. With the entire picture in mind, They smile down at me lovingly, because they know who this trial will help me to be. They are constantly helping me in ways I cannot understand, and for that I am truly grateful.
So, to you, one of my four “fans”, I feel ya. I know what it is like to repeat the cycle of crap on a regular basis. Hold on. Things will get better, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. I pray that your trial is taken from you soon, but do not become discouraged if it doesn’t. It just means the Lord is molding you into someone great. Hold on, turn to Him, and get ready to see the incredible person you are becoming.