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Negatvie (N)ellie

TESTIMONY OF OBEDIENCE


I was really wrestling with what to share this week. Tons of ideas kept floating through my head, but I really couldn’t seem to narrow in on which one was best. As the end of the week approached, I prayed for much needed inspiration, and just as it always does, it came. However, the experience I was being prompted to use, was not one that I really wanted to share. It was a very personal, tender moment for me, and honestly, I kind of just wanted to keep it close to my heart, as a memory just for me. As I began to think about it, though, I realized what a really dumb thought that was. Heavenly Father and the Savior have literally never led me astray! Plus, they give us our experiences and lessons to not only help ourselves, but to help those around us. Now, I’m not saying that this blog has earth-shattering information, that is going to help all ‘round the world. However, I did get the impression that I should share this experience with those around me. So, I am going out on a limb here, knowing that my Savior and Heavenly Father have made it strong enough to support me. So, without further ado, here is my cool experience for the week:

One of the tasks I am asked to do as a Youth Leader is to teach the Young Women in our ward on Sundays. Even though I have been teaching the girls for almost two years now, each time I do it I feel soooooooo underqualified. I am not prepared or worthy enough to be teaching these impressionable youths about the Gospel of Jesus Christ (honestly, it is usually them teaching me!) Even though I am scared every time I teach, nothing could compare to how terrified I was to teach this last week, as I had to teach about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Me, a twenty-three year old girl, was somehow supposed to make these incredible girls understand how much the Savior loves each and every one of them, and what His sacrifice did for each of us. I have never felt so unprepared for a job in my entire life. I kept thinking,

“Why am I teaching this lesson? Mom has this incredible testimony of the Savior, that moves others to tears. Plus, she is constantly teaching me what an amazing relationship with the Savior looks like. Obviously, she should be the one teaching this lesson!”

Unfortunately for me, (and the girls) I was the one who had to teach the world’s most important lesson. I honestly did not know how I was ever going to do this. I felt completely overwhelmed as my dreaded week of teaching approached. Not only was I having to do tons of study for my lesson, but I also had to do my own personal study for the week and study a lesson for the new curriculum that had been introduced in January. I did not know how in the world I was going to get all of that reading done, plus prepare the scariest lesson of my life.

Hold on. We need to do a little bit of a flashback. I am about to be real with you guys. Back in October, when they announced the new curriculum, I was not very excited. I am very much a creature of habit, and with all of the changes that came with this new curriculum, one could say I was not very enthused. However, I knew (and know) that we have a true Prophet on the earth today, who is in direct contact with our Heavenly Father, and because of that, he knows exactly what we need to do to continue coming closer to Christ. So, I buckled down and started the new curriculum in January, but with very little enthusiasm.

Ok, let’s flashforward to Sunday, March 10th. I am sitting at church, reviewing the lesson I had finished preparing the day before. With lots of help from my Savior, Heavenly Father, and the incredible teachings of the prophets, I had prepared a lesson I didn’t actually hate. I felt like it at least got the job done (and the World’s Best Leader Award goes too….), and I was just ready to get it all over with. The hour before I had to teach seemed to creep by, and I thought I was never going to get the lesson over with. Then, all at once, I was sitting in front of a group of teenagers, getting ready to teach one of the most important lessons of their lives.

Y’all, I don’t even know how to put into words what happened next. I don’t think I have ever felt that close and in tune with the Spirit, possibly in my entire life. It was like every step of my lesson was being guided for me, and I had no doubt that it was going in the right direction. I was completely confident in every tangent or extra statement I put in, because I knew it wasn’t me that was leading the lesson. I felt so close to my Heavenly Father and Savior in that lesson. I understood the love my Savior has for me, and the incredible sacrifices He has made for me in a way I never have before. I am forever grateful for the opportunity I had to teach that lesson, and am so honored that I was trusted with it. I am not saying it was the greatest lesson ever taught, but it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was so prepared for teaching that hard lesson, because of the new curriculum that has been put in place. As I have studied the scriptures personally and with my family, on a weekly and daily basis, it has helped to bring the Spirit into my life so much more. That decision to be obedient allowed me to be more worthy of the Spirit’s promptings, and that not only blessed my life, but I think it may have blessed the lives of those sweet girls as well (at least I hope so). I am so grateful for our beloved Prophet, who leads and guides this church through constant contact with our Heavenly Father. He truly knows what is best for our lives, because it is what Heavenly Father wants for our lives. I am so grateful for the encouragement I had from my Savior, Heavenly Father, and family, to be obedient to the new instructions we received from the Lord. Without it, I don’t know if I would have had this sweet experience, and it is one I would not trade for anything.

So, there is my week in a nutshell. I hope that through my experience, someone was able to see how much their Savior and Heavenly Father love them. They truly do lead and guide every aspect of our lives. They are in the details, they are in the big moments, and they are shaping us into the best people we can be.

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