WHAT I WISH I'D KNOWN
The end of May brings sunshine, a carefree atmosphere, and celebrations of graduates for all of the amazing accomplishments they have completed. First off, I am so proud of all of the graduates I know, you guys kicked some tail, and deserve all of benefits and adventures you will reap from that. Now, lets get down to business with another dynamite blog post by yours truly 😉. One can’t think of graduation without reminiscing on your own graduation. As I picture little eighteen-year-old Negative (N)ellie at her own graduation, attempting to grab pictures with friends and keep her cap in place, I wish I could tell her not to be so scared. I wish I could tell her just to hold on, because in the future, she has quite the amazing, blessed life. Although I can’t share all of my hindsight insights with baby (N)ellie, I can share them with you. So, in kind of a love letter to my seniors, here are: Five Things I Wish I’d Known When I Graduated High School.
1. It Doesn’t Matter What People Think
This is a lesson that I feel like I am never really going to master, but I REALLY didn’t have it down back then. At eighteen, I was sooooo worried about what others thought of me. Here are some of the thoughts that were racing through my baby head as I prepared for college:
· I can’t admit that I miss my family that much! I have to put on a brave face, and act like I like it here as much as everyone else seems to.
· I have to figure out what I am doing as soon as possible, so I can stay on track with everyone else in my class.
· I can’t admit how much I am terrified for my future. Everyone else seems to have it all together, and so should I.
· I cannot go and ask for help from my TA and other resources, that would just be too embarrassing.
Honestly, I can’t look back at these worries I had without thinking how stupid I was. It is so easy to get caught up in worrying about what other people think, but It really does not matter what other people think of you! Honestly, they probably aren’t thinking about you as much as you believe they are. They have their own busy lives to worry about! But even if they are, so what? You have the ability to choose whether what they are “thinking about you” affects you or not. So, if you feel like you need to talk to your mom on the phone every day, do it! I am proud to say I did that at BYU! Join awesome clubs or hobbies that you are passionate about, not worrying about what others think. Never be afraid to ask for any help you might need. No one is going to look down on you for needing extra help, because we ALL need help sometimes. Even if they do, it doesn’t matter! Remember who you are! You are a Child of God! The only opinions that matter are yours and your Heavenly Father’s. Turn to Him in all things, and you will be able to be proud and confident in yourself, because trust me, He is.
2. Everyone’s Journey is Different
This one kind of ties into not caring what other people think, but it definitely deserves its own category. For some reason, when I started BYU, I had drilled into my brain that I had to finish college in four years, and since I had no earthly idea what I wanted to do, that seemed almost impossible. This mindset made BYU a lot more stressful for me, and a lot less fun. It also made the years after my mission a lot less fun, because every year that I didn’t figure out what I wanted to do felt like a year of failure. Looking back now, I see I needed those years of growth. I need to try a bunch of different classes, courses, jobs, and hobbies, to discover what I really wanted to pursue in life. A year ago, I would have given anything to hurry up and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Now, I wouldn’t trade my growing years for anything. I needed them. I think that is the point I am trying to make, everyone’s journey is different, and everyone needs something different in their journey. Some people need to finish college in four years, some people need trade school, some people need to work their way up in a company, some people need to take a couple of years to serve before they can figure things out. As long as you are sticking close to the Lord in your journey, He will never lead you astray, and any turn you take will never be a wrong one. Trust Him, and that He knows what is best for you, and don’t be embarrassed if your journey is a little bit different than others.
3. Trials Are A Blessing (Sometimes)
I know I am really tempting fate by making that statement, but I can honestly say that almost all the trials I’ve been through lately have been such an incredible blessing in my life. Now, I cannot state that this is the mindset baby (N)ellie had. She believed that:
1. Trials are a punishment.
2. That nothing really good could come out of a hard time.
She also sometimes got really angry with her Heavenly Father for giving her hard times, and didn’t understand why He didn’t just take it away from her! Now that I am a few years past the baby (N)ellie phase, I can see what all of those trials and difficult things did for me. They were not punishments, they were opportunities. They truly shaped me into someone new, I barely even recognize that eighteen-year-old girl I was back then. She was not confident in herself, she had a weaker relationship with her Savior and Heavenly Father, she was not near as strong, and she did not have near as much fun as she does now. I am so grateful for the trials, because they shaped me into who I am today, and I gotta say, I kind of love that girl. Trials stink when you are in them, but I promise you can get through them with His help, and you will come out the other side loving who you have become, and have a better relationship with your Savior and Heavenly Father. Trust me, those blessings alone would make you go through those trials one hundred times over.
4. HAVE FUN
Oh. My. Lanta. This is one of the biggest lessons I needed to learn my first semester of BYU. I was so focused on school, school, school, what others thought, and school, that I don’t think I really made any time for fun. About halfway through my first semester, I finally let go a little bit, and started making time to do the things I loved, which at the time was BYU Basketball. I learned to organize and prioritize my life around going to the games with friends, or having movie nights with my roommate, and it really changed my attitude towards BYU. It allowed me to enjoy college life a little bit more, and those moments are some of my fondest memories. My second semester of college went by so much faster, and I know it is because I was making sure to schedule some fun into my life. Now, I am not saying that doing well in school isn’t important, because it soooooo is, however, you have to remember to have some fun, in whatever stage of life you are in. Working, studying, serving, there are always opportunities for fun in those moments, and finding them can change your entire mindset. Thanks for teaching me that, Mamma Mia 😉
5. Build on What You Already Have
When I graduated from High School, I thought that I had a pretty good relationship with my Heavenly Father. I went to church every Sunday, I had graduated from Seminary, I had read the Book of Mormon all the way through, I thought I was pretty good in the spirituality department. Well, when those first few months of college hit, it taught me that although I was definitely prepared for the trials I was facing, there was a bunch of room for improvement, and that's ok! All of the tools I had been learning since childhood, such as prayer and scripture study, really did help me a ton when I felt alone. However, college is where my understanding of why they are so important began to grow. The scriptures truly became a source of comfort to me, and I enjoyed the time I got to study and communicate with my Heavenly Father. I feel like college is where my relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father truly began to blossom, because I had to rely on them everyday, through prayer, scriptures, church, etc. So, when the trials of change come, build on what you already have. Make the time for scripture study, prayer, and going to church. I promise that those fundamentals really do help you stay grounded, bring perspective, build your relationship with Them, and somehow help you do better in school (or whatever awesome goal you are pursuing.) However, be prepared for those habits to grow, change, and deepen as your relationship with you Savior and Heavenly Father changes. As you grow closer to Them, you see even more how much you need those habits in your life. Trust me, one day you will be grateful for these trials in times of change, because of the testimony they gave you of important daily habits.
So, there ya go! There are five things I wish I had known when I graduated from High School. I hope that at least one of these tips was able to bring you some sort of peace of mind. Don’t ever feel like you are the only one who is stressed and worried, because everyone is feeling that way. (EVERYONE) Don’t ever feel like you have no one to turn to, because both your Savior and your Heavenly Father are always there. This time of your life is one of the craziest, but it also one of the most fun! Don’t get so caught up in the stress and change, that you forget to really enjoy where you are at! I have seen your character, and I know that you guys can make it through the challenges that lay ahead. Don’t doubt yourselves! Trust me, you got this! I cannot wait to see all of the wonderful adventures you guys go on 😊
P.S. I am always a phone call away!