HE KNOWS ALL
The week of June 3rd through June 10th was one of the most extreme emotional roller coasters I have ever been on. My eyes were red from all of the crying, my attitude was cranky from the lack of sleep, and my faith was definitely a little shaken. However, as with almost every trial I have experienced in this life, there was a lesson to be learned. That week, the lesson repeated to me over, and over, and over again was this: He Knows All.
June 3rd, 3:00 in the morning. Hershey Sue and I had been bunking up as of late, and I was loving every minute of it. I slept so much better, knowing I had my protector by my side. Well, that terrible Monday morning, I had to be her protector (I did not do near as good of a job as she always does). All of sudden, our sweet Hershey was in the most immense amount of pain I had ever seen her in (and she gave birth to TEN PUPPIES). She couldn’t lay down, she kept whimpering in pain, and nothing I did seemed to console her. I ran to get my mom, hoping she would know how to help our girl. Nothing we tried seemed to help, so instead we took shifts of laying next to her, hoping that just our presence would bring her some comfort. I truly thought we were going to lose her that night. As I cried by her side, I kept whispering in her ear, “You can go. We love you so much, and we will miss you, but you can go”.
June 3rd, 10:00 AM, it was like a totally different dog was in our house. She was walking around, eating, jumping. It was as if the events of the night had never even occurred! I began thanking the Lord, for hearing my silent prayers for her healing, and began to have hope that everything would be alright. We took Miss Hersh to the vet later that afternoon, and discovered that she had a heart condition, but that a specific medicine may be able to help. Relief swept over my body as I heard the news. Hershey Sue was going to be alright!
Well, the nights that followed seemed to prove otherwise. We would not be able to receive her medication for a few days, and in those few days, Miss Hersh managed to pull another 180 on us. She began to deteriorate quickly. She couldn’t get up, she wouldn’t eat (her favorite activity), and she just seemed so uncomfortable. The morning of June 6th, I once again believed that we were going to lose her. I stayed home from work that day (once again, best bosses ever), because I truly believed she would not be there when I returned, and I wanted to be there to comfort her when she passed. Although we got the wonderful news we would be receiving her medication that day, we believed it would probably be in vain. She just seemed to far gone, and now our only hope was that she would be able to pass peacefully at home. (that sweet girl hates the vet so much, unless she became in extreme pain again, we did not want to take her in).
You do not know how many prayers I uttered over that weekend, both silently and out loud, hoping the Lord would take her comfortably from our home. After days of not sleeping, and worrying that when I woke up the next morning she would be gone, I was emotionally drained. I could not take seeing her like that anymore. She wasn’t in pain, but she wasn’t herself, and I believed she wasn’t happy. I truly felt that it was her time to leave us, and was just ready for the emotional roller coaster to end. So, as the weekend rolled by, and our little fighter hung on, I became so angry with the Lord. Why, oh why, would He keep her in this state? She didn’t seem particularly happy, it was obvious to me that she wasn’t going to make it much longer, and all of us were emotionally and physically exhausted. Why was He not answering our prayers? (Yup, I have great faith you guys. Great faith)
Although there were a few days that were pretty rough, as that incredible medicine kicked in, we saw some signs of our Hershey coming back to us (man is she a fighter!). She began to walk again, eat again, and even beg for our food again. It took a little time, but our Hershey Sue came back, almost exactly the same dog she was before the night of June 3rd. The first time she gave me one of her kisses after that dreadful week was one of the most tender moments of my life.
Now, I am well aware that this is probably a very melodramatic story for many of you. I mean, she is just a dog. However, to our family, she is not just a dog. She is our protector. She is a part of our family. She makes us laugh as she demands cuddles. She creeps us out when she does her staring contests. And after this weekend, I am positive that she is a creature who is loved deeply by our Heavenly Father. Even though I was positive so many times throughout that week that it was her time to go, He knew, and Miss Hershey Sue knew, that it was not. She fought it out, even with me telling her it was ok to go. And Heavenly Father, He heard everyone of my heartfelt prayers. The Savior was with me, as I went through what I thought was the beginning process of losing one of my best friends. They did answer my prayer, just not in the way I expected. Every time I prayed, “Do what is best for Hershey”, They did just that.
That week was such a testimony builder to me of how the Lord is in every single, insignificant detail of our lives. Would my life have changed drastically had we lost Hershey Sue that week? No. I would have been very sad for a while, and I would have missed her like crazy, but life would have gone on. However, He was kind enough to not answer my pleading prayer to take her, because He wanted us to have a little bit more time with her. He knew it wasn’t her time to go yet, and I should have trusted Him. The Lord truly cares about every aspect of our lives. From the big, life altering decisions, to the little moments that we believe He doesn’t have time for. He is there for them all, and He knows what the best outcomes are. It can be so hard to trust Him when things seem to be going oh so wrong. However, truly trusting Him is the best decision we can ever make. I am for sure not an expert at it, but that week with Hershey Sue will always remind me that He knows all.