26

26.

That’s not really a birthday people go out of their way to celebrate, is it? There's no sash, no dedicated balloons, no level unlocked, such as buying spray paint unsupervised.

And yet, for me, twenty-six is a really, really exciting one.

Why, you might ask?

Well, it’s your lucky day, because I am more than happy to tell you.

Twenty-six is huge for me because it reminds me of just how far I’ve come. Especially in the past ten years.

Seriously, who even was that girl?

Again, I’d be more than happy to tell you.

That girl was one who believed her whole life was about to begin. A girl who was literally counting down, along with the most supportive friends ever, to the second, the minute, the hour, and the day, when she would finally turn sixteen.

This was a girl who didn’t just believe, but knew, that all of her faithfulness was about to be rewarded. Magically, all because she had followed God’s commands, Prince Charming himself was going to ride in through the doors of the high school, sweep her into his arms, and make it obvious to one and all, why the waiting had been oh, so worth it.

I mean, the fairytale practically writes itself, right?

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Thank the heavens, wrong.

Because, that’s kind of sad. (Ok, it’s really sad, but let’s rein our judgements in at least a little bit. I mean, it is my birthday.) Did she really think the entirety of her happiness depended on whether or not she was in a relationship?

Yes. Unfortunately, on some pitiful, heart-breaking level, this poor sixteen-year-old thought her worst days were about to be behind her, and true joy was just one first kiss away.

Ahh. How disappointed she would be to learn, that not only was romance far, far beyond her reach at that point, but it would continue to be, for many years to come.

Twenty-six, if we are being exact. But, I mean, who’s counting?

Not I.

And I genuinely, whole-heartedly mean that. No longer am I counting down the days, or, I guess, counting up the years that have passed by sans love. Because, through seemingly unanswered prayers and the greatest of adventures, I have learned that the absence of something, even something we want desperately, does not mean life has not begun.

My days were sooooo full in those moments I was wishing away, but I was too preoccupied by what I thought I didn't have, to see it. Now, at twenty-six, I can see it. I can see just how great my life really is. How great God has made this life for me.

• I’ve traveled across the country, with my family, allowing them to become my best friends.

• I’ve had several college experiences, for so many years, in fact, that many classes I took were purely for my own interest.

• I’ve established life long friendships with coworkers, cousins, and friends from all areas of my life.

• I’ve adopted many hobbies, including, but not limited to, baking, running, reading, writing, and braiding.

• I worked at by far, the funnest place in my hometown.

• The best month and a half of my life was spent in Michigan, serving the Lord and the wonderful people there.

• I’ve started a blog, a blog I’ve continually uploaded to for almost four years, thank you very much.

• I’ve helped out in Primary, where little kids make me laugh until I cry on a weekly basis.

• I spent three, glorious years in Young Womens, with the sweetest, kindest, feistiest group of girls, who will never know just how much they changed me for the better.

• I’ve been given the most adorable goddaughter you ever did see.

• I‘be been blessed with great relationships with all of my grandparents.

• I’ve become proficient at dog sitting.

• Through deep challenges and unforeseen blessings, I’ve come to truly know and trust in my Heavenly Father’s plan for me.

• I’ve come to truly know my Savior. Know who He is, understand what He’s done for me, and turn to Him when I can no longer do things on my own.

• Through choosing faith everyday, I have gained a firm, rooted testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

• Lastly, I know who I am, and I like who I am. I‘m confident in the person I’ve become, and the dreams and desires of her heart. They line up with the Lord’s, and that is truly all that matters.

Would you just look at that list for a second? Look at it, sixteen-year-old Ellie! Look at all the incredible journey’s the Lord has brought you to! Look at the joy that fills your heart! Look at what you’ve accomplished! Look at the friendships you’ve made! Look at all of the paths you would have never taken without the gentle, guiding hand of the Lord?

Can you honestly say that it is a life that hasn’t begun? Because, I sure can’t.

Thank you, Heavenly Father. Thank you for refusing to give me what I wanted when I was sixteen, that girl, clearly, did not have her priorities straight. She thought, in the deepest recesses of her heart, that she knew what she wanted out of this life, and, she kindly mapped out a dream for you to follow.

Blessedly, though I am sure it pained you to see her so distraught, you refused to follow it. Which, was the most loving, fatherly thing you could have done.

My joy is so full in this life you have given me. Everyday I wake up incredibly grateful for where I am, on this amazing journey that I would never have had the guts to choose for myself. You knew best, just as you always do and, I am so, so glad that it is true.

Yeah, so, I guess you could say twenty-six is feeling pretty dang great.

However, if, for you, your latest birthday is a lot like sixteen-year-old Ellie’s birthday, filled with mountains of unfulfilled dreams and disappointments, take heart. Your life is not on hold. Your dreams have not been crushed. Your life is oh, so good. It has already started, and it can only get better from here.

And, do you know why? Because, He created it. Because, He is guiding it. Because He knows you, and He loves you.