A LOVE THAT IS ALWAYS THERE

Last weekend, my family and I had the opportunity to watch the movie, The Shift. 10/10 would recommend, this modern retelling of the story of Job got me right where it counts.

Why? Because I saw myself in it. Bold statement, I know, to compare onself to Job, but I promise, that's not what I was doing. Or, at least at the end, that's not what I was doing 😂

At one point in the film, the character that portrays the adversary is seen screaming at our current-day Job. Loudly and with force, he tries to get the hero to believe that, "He doesn't care about you", "He's not listening", "If He loved you, why this?", or things of that nature.

With each phrase, I felt my body grow tighter and tighter with tension, becasue the raging man was describing just how I was feeling in that moment. Because, sometimes, despite the love of Christ we have felt in our lives, despite the many times we have been able to testify of His goodness, despite the times we have danced in the hope that He brings, we just don't feel it anymore. Can't see it. Question where it is. Struggle to believe it.

Sometimes, the weight just seems too much to carry, and we wonder if He is really there at all.

He is. And He is always willing to show us proof of his presence.

In the movie, just as the adversary has finished presenting his cruel case, a miracle happens. A tender mercy appears on the screen, and it hopefully reminds all viewers, as it reminded me, that God's love is always there.

I cannot deny that in spite of the trials that sometimes feel like they will overtake me, I have felt God's love in the storm. I have seen His presence. I have been shown that He is still there, even if my clouded vision and weakening strength make it more difficult to accept. The Lord has proved Himself to me, and that effort deseves to be shared and broadcast.

So, for others, but mostly for myself, I am going to recount a few of the times I have witnessed the hand of the Lord over the past few weeks. I, for one, am in a constant, desperate need of a reminder, but I hope, as always, that my experiences help you to connect with your Savior more as well.

While babysitting, I somehow ended up with not one, but two children piled on top of me, along with several blankets, a few pillows, and at least three stuffed animals. This claustrophobic girl has never felt more comfortable in her life.

Someone kind assured me that my voice deserved to be heard.

While leading a Primary Activity with a friend of mine, two adults and seven children all ended up laying on the floor, in a line, faces pressed into the dirty carpet and thumbs in the air, praying no parents walked in to witness our odd attempt at Heads Up Seven Up.

Friends who tell me they love me.

Warmer weather. I know the New Mexico heat is on its way, but the sunshine has been incredibly restoring as of late.

Asked to present a lesson to a group of Young Women, I did not at all feel up to the task that day. However, I didn't need to be. The Spirit took over, and witnessing how it touched the girls humbled me. I was so blessed to be in that room.

A friend who assured me, again, that I would become the next JK Rowling. FYI, those are the types of friends who get book dedications ;) The ones that tell you lies, sweet, little lies.

While watching a peewee soccer game, one of my little best friends shouted to me during the middle of a play, "Hi, Ellie!", and then proceeded to try and have a conversation with me.

A couple of hours later, his younger brother shouted, "Hey L-E!", from his car seat, and as always, that little voice melted my heart.

One of my greatest mentors offered to organize a party to properly celebrate an upcoming milestone in my life.

While talking with a friend, she gave me a piece of advice she didn't know I so desperately needed in that moment. "All we can do is our best!"

Hearing some of my Primary Kids tell me all about the books they are reading, the games they are playing, and another interesting aspects about their lives. I'm honored they let me in, even if I very rarely understand what they are saying 😂

Books, just so many books that are the desperate escape I sometimes need.

My friends consistently sending me adorable videos of her toddler. I'm beginning to believe that whatever the ailment might be, baby giggles are the cure.

Laughter. My mom and I have been laughing a lot together, and it is so healing. Getting her to giggle so hard that she goes silent is one of my favorite things to do, and I will happily claim the title of being the only one in our family who got her to do a spit take 😂

My future sister-in-law texted me just to check in.

Oakley Ann. One night, after waking up from a nightmare, I brought her into my bed with me. Not at all irritated by the early wake up call, she licked the tears from my face, snuggled in beside me, and went to sleep without a bark of complaint.

Getting to see some of my friends be baptized and enter into covenants with their Savior. I am in awe that I got to be part of such special days.

The power of prayer lighting my way on days where it seemed so dark.

My church family. When I am with them, I know I am home.

The beautiful flowers of spring, popping up even in the desert. One of our highways was strewn with them, creating such a colorful sight to see.

"The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World, I am using that song as my lifeline right now.

Truths spoken that remind me that my Lord loves me for me, even if I am have room for improvement.

And so many more, the list just goes on and on and on, and I can assure you that these all have occurred just within the last little bit. Looking back, I am ashamed that I thought He wasn't there. How could I not see Him?

He is always there, even amidst the weeds and the thorns. He will always give us moments to know that, even if we don't believe it right then and there. He never gets tired of showing His love, and it is a love that is always there.