A YEAR OF GOD’S LOVE

This was not the blog that was supposed to be written this week. Or, I guess put in better words, it was not the blog I had planned to write this week. With the happy accident of its release date falling on NYE, it only seemed fitting that such a post would be dedicated to the year that had passed. Perhaps my favorite reads from the year, the biggest lesson I had learned, the best Oakley story that would prove my pleadings to not take her had been more than correct.

Wracking my brain, I settled on “21 in ‘21”. Clever, right? Twenty-one of my fondest memories from 2021, all compiled into one list with a catchy title. Great. Perfect. Setting the idea aside for a week, I decided to enjoy my holiday with my family and revisit the brainchild at a later date.

Well, said later date arrived and…the brainchild would not be brought to life. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but something about that beautiful concept just felt wrong. Despite no doubt being the best blog post to have ever been created, I knew deep down inside that it was never going to see the light of day. So, now what?

Reflecting on when situations similar to this have happened in the past, I resorted to my tried and true answer. Prayer. I cannot even remember when or where this prayer was uttered. Probably while I was wrapping presents or cleaning up dog urine, the silent prayer was uttered in the hopes that Heavenly Father would lead me to the words and the topic I was meant to share in the week ahead. And, as always, He didn’t let me down.

Sitting in my seat at church, with quiet chatter surrounding me before the meeting began, inspiration struck.

“Write about all of the times you’ve felt the love of God this year.”

I’m sure the look on my face was not one of acceptance or excitement as I toyed with that suggestion. Not that it was a bad idea, but was it as catchy as, “21in ‘21”? I didn’t think so. Planning to stick to my original idea, I fixed my eyes upon the pulpit and prepared for the Christmas Service.

Unfortunately, as is common knowledge here on Negative (N)ellie, when the Lord has an assignment for you, He is not one to give up easily. Like Jonah and Tarshish, my mind was continually brought back to the Lord’s chosen topic for the week.

While only *entertaining* the suggestion, I was awed and amazed by how easily the twenty-one slots were filled. Though my 2021 had been stuffed to capacity with memories, both incredible and difficult, I could not seem to find the full twenty-one to work with my title. On the contrary, when I began to play with the recommended thought of seeking God’s love, I couldn’t stop thinking of instances, and many of the selections from my first list made it onto my second.

• Upon receiving the news of my grandfather’s passing, my brother immediately pulled me into a hug and planted a kiss on the top of my head. Not known for my fondness of touchy-feely, he recognized that in that moment, even I needed a hug.

• A sweet couple going out of their way, driving all the way out to the boonies, to deliver us a Christmas Treat. Delicious ones, might I add.

• A month sat by Grandma’s side, where I learned more about what true love is, in all of its various forms, than in the many, many, many romance books I’ve read in my twenty-six years of life.

• Competing so poorly in a game with my cousin, that we both began to cry with laughter.

• While preparing hideous handouts to accompany my activity for a group of young girls, being promoted to make one extra, which provided just enough for each girl who attended.

• Three hour-long phone calls with my best friend who needs to hurry up and convince her husband to move back home.

• Creating a miniature Polar Express for the Primary children. It had been ages since I‘d laughed that hard, and taught me that my ding-dong ditch game could use some work. And my skills of navigation.

• Attending a birthday party for one of my oldest friend’s from my home town, where I truly felt like I was surrounded by family once more. Who knew sharing my most embarrassing stories from high school to a bunch of middle schoolers would be so much fun?

• A week before receiving incredible news, I felt my Grandpa with me, smiling down on me. Even though we are separated now, I knew in that moment he was celebrating with me.

• The many times my mother braved the cold, the heat, or my hour-long rants to go on a run with me.

• My dad offering to help me with the dishes when he saw I was in a rush.

• I know people are going to judge me on this one, but I don’t care. It happened, and it needs to be shared. Though I’ve called them each “moron” on several occasions, in those first hard days when we got Oakley, I cannot count the number of times that Sadie or Lulu entertained her for me with a game of chase or tug-of-war. They did their share, and I’ll forever love them for it.

• Long conversations with any one of my grandmothers. It’s become obvious to me they are the best people to talk to. They always think I’m right, they always think I’m funny, and they always shower me with compliments.

• On a day that felt busy and overworked, a sweet person coming up to share that they had enjoyed my talk in church from several months before.

• A Primary child complimenting me on my shoes.

• While making my bed or putting up shoes, looking down to find my shadow had followed me in. Through, she did not help me with my chores. I guess that’s asking to much of a gremlin.

• Heartwarming calls, texts, and words on my birthday.

• My family knowing me better than I know myself, and getting me gifts and items that seemed as if they were made only for me. I felt incredibly loved this Christmas.

• Decorating for Christmas. Titled a Grinch at my former place of employment, lovingly and willingly I must add, I’m not often called out for my yuletide joy. However this year, as I decorated with others for a party, and as a service that doesn’t even begin to chip away at my debt for my mom, I felt real joy.

• The kindest family in the world giving of their time and talents to build us a fence so we don’t have anymore escapes from the “Amazing Lulu”.

• After a lesson that had seemed to go completely off the rails, I was stunned and warmed to my cold,black heart to find that many of the children I had taught had written said lesson down on a leaf of their Gratitude Tree.

There are so many others, so many others. The amount of times God has showed me His love this year is unfair, unreal, and undeserving. I could never have earned the kindness and happiness I was given over and over and over again, and yet, here is the proof that it came.

I love that the situations vary so widely. Some are centered around life defining moments, such as birthdays and a goodbye to a loved one, while others are more everyday, such as nice word or a good laugh. Evidenced again and again on this site where we actively look for the negative, God is in the details. He is in every and all aspects of our life, giving us the gentle nudges of wonder we didn’t know we needed.

What a great way to reflect on the year, is it not? To recall and honor the many moments where God’s love appeared? Much better than “21 in ‘21”. However, I have a feeling it is an even better way to start a new year. With the love of God from the year before overflowing our minds and our hearts, we are better equipped to tackle whatever may come our way in the blank slate ahead. Armed with the knowledge that His love is always there, we can find it in even the hardest of times. A guarantee I am willing to stake my beloved singlehood on, 2022 will be another year filled with God’s love.