ACCEPTING HIS PEACE

Prepare yourselves. You, my brave reader, are about to get an inside look into the mind of Negative (N)ellie. It can be a dark, scary place, a landscape that is not for the faint of heart to traverse. Those who do, will most likely come back a little leery of our young friend, (N)ellie. However, I am ever hopeful that this journey will also gift the reader an increased desire to accept the peace the Savior willingly, lovingly gives.

You have been warned.

“Let it go. Just let it go.”

Despite the constant whispers to myself, the ones that make my family fearful I have come to truly believe the characters from my current book series are indeed my friends, the words and commands fall on deaf ears.

“You’ve prayed about this already. You’ve received your answer. Now, let it go.”

Ignoring the sought-after, cried-for, pleaded-on-behalf-of advice, the words and comfort that the Lord has lovingly given me countless times over, my mind instead returns to its favorite task. Turning the problem over.

And over.

And over.

And over, again.

Analyzing it from all angles, self aware and self assured enough to realize that although the Lord has answered my questions and concerns on the matter, they couldn’t be real.

Right?

They couldn’t possibly have been fixed so easily? Obviously, my wants and desires could not line up with the will of the Lord. That would make things to simple.

No, the answer would not just come to me like that. It would have to fought for, I would have to sacrifice sleep for it. It is not something that would be freely given to me. I cannot believe the quiet whispers in my head that say I am enough.

No, instead, I must adhere to the anxious thoughts. The ones that send chills down my spine, that circle viciously in my head, making me fear the very Being who is trying so desperately hard to convince me they are not true.

Staring at the ceiling, pleading with the Sandman to come and surround me with his sprinkles of magic dust, a calm, soft suggestion wiggles it’s way through the doubts and the fears, allowing me to breathe deeply again.

Fast about it.

The suggestion, which seemed so blaringly, ostentatiously right in the dark, gloomy night of my bedroom, gifted me a moments rest from my fears. Armed with an action plan, a way to battle and discover the truth for myself, I was able to easily accept the Sandman’s offerings and drift off into a restless sleep.

The minute my knees hit the ground the next morning, I began begging the Lord for His aid. Holding nothing back, I bore my whole soul, every bit of the scary, the shameful, and the over-analytical. Everything and anything, leaving no room for doubt, so when the fast had ended I could be confident in the answer, whatever it may be.

Popping up from my knees, I did my best to push the swirling worries to the side, making way for the Lord’s counsel and guidance. With a new pep in my step, I walked hopefully into my day, praying that at the end, my faith would be rewarded with long-sought-after answers.

At first, things seemed to only get worse. Every minute, the storm in my mind gained strength, making me fearful that this was the answer. My constant worries had been correct, the Lord was not proud of me, I had somehow erred greatly in His sight, and now the appropriate punishment was being doled out. My only option was to hold on for the ride, keeping my nausea at bay until the spinning stopped.

Throughout the day, as dinner was made and the dogs were brought outside to relieve themselves, the malicious worries vanished. One minute they were there, bringing stinging tears to my eyes, and the next, there was not a wisp of them to be found. Happily taking there stead, was peace.

Not just any peace, the Lord’s peace. A calm I would never have been able to create myself. The quiet comfort that had been with me since the moment I had begun praying about the issue, days before. The feelings of Heaven that the Lord had been pressing upon me, begging me to accept, had gained incredible momentum and strength.

There was no denying their worth. There was no denying their truth. There was no denying their source.

This was the Lord himself, the Savior of the World, sending repeated peace to my soul. Christ, the Master of the Universe, cared about me enough to make sure I knew my worth and standing in His eyes, and to confirm with assured conviction, that the answers He had been sending me were true. They were His loving words, sent directly to me, a beloved soul who He willing sacrificed Himself for, so he could give her needed aid in this exact moment in time.

Why do we do that?

Why do we reject His peace?

Why do we overcomplicate things, assuring ourselves that His simple, overarching words of love, could surely no be directed towards us?

Now, I am not naïve enough to believe that the simple message of the Lord's peace will magically fix all of the problems that ail us. There will still be tough decisions to make. There will still be the pain of loss, the struggle of fear, the nagging of inadequacies, and the feelings of failure that we can never do enough. His peace is not a cure-all.

And yet, it kind of is.

By accepting His peace, I am able to move forward, despite all of these things. I am able to put aside the worries I face, and bravely forge ahead into the unknown, faithfully trusting that He is in control.

With His peace, we can accept the things we don’t understand, or the problems that torment ourselves and those we love, knowing that although we cannot fix them immediately, through His guidance and timing, all will be well.

It may not be well right at this moment, and it may not be well all at once, but it will be well. He is at the helm, He has already won! Why should we fear, when we know He is in control? Why should we fear, when He is sending us reassurances that we are oh so loved, and oh so taken care of?

So? Will the Lord’s peace miraculously fix every problem the world over? Not exactly. However, it will you give you the strength to endure. It will give you the light to make your little corner of the world better. It will give you hope that the trials and stress and despair will be worth it, and it assuredly will. It will help you to find joy amidst the storms.

That, my dear reader, leaves you with a choice. Will you become your own Negative (N)ellie, ignoring the peace the Lord is begging you to take, reaching instead for more complex, fear-inspiring answers. Or, will you accept the calm, quiet voice that whispers the correct answers in your ear, the ones you so desperately need?

John 14:27

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."