ALWAYS THERE

“How much longer?”

“Just a few more seconds!”

“I have absolutely no balance this early in the morning!”

“I know! But we’re almost there. Just focus on the Savior!”

“I can’t see Him.”

Aren’t you so lucky? Not once, but twice now, you have gotten an insider's look at a fleeting moment of my household’s daily routine.

Early in the morning, while the Mastiff still snoozes on the couch, and the stars are still hung in the sky, my mother and I can be found practicing mediocre yoga. Barely awake, we stumble through the routine, nearly toppling into each other when a particular pose requires some semblance of balance. (A warning to all, steady legs are very hard to come by at 5:30 in the morning.)

On this particular morning, amidst the giggles of delirious hilarity, and the groans at the unwelcome timing of the alarm clock, a Gospel lessons was found.

Proudly stationed on our mantle, as well as in several other corners of the house, proudly hangs a picture of the Savior. From where my mother and I attempt dating feats of flexibility in the too early morning hours, the picture above the fireplace usually allows easy access for all viewers in the room. However, that particular morning, with one, pitiful lamp illuminating the Savior’s face, my sight was blocked. The odd angle I was bent over at, coupled with the giant black chair that stood between myself and the picture, completely obscured the image of Jesus Christ.

Whilst swaying back and forth upon one leg, wishing that the minute would go by just a little bit faster, a revelation popped into my head. He was still there. Despite the fact that a big, black, fluffy chair had made Him invisible, I could not deny that the picture still hung over our fireplace. It had not moved.

This rendition of Christ, and the actual Christ, have more in common than just similar facial features. He too, is always there. Though we may not always be able to see His hand in our lives, and though it may seem as if our pleas fall on deaf ears, that cannot change the fact that the Savior is always there.

I’m not sure if it is the season of life I am in, riddled with transitions and scary decisions, or just the incredible power of the year 2020, but there have been many times over the past few months that I have found it difficult to believe that the Savior is really there. Not that I could blame Him. Spending hours upon hours listening to a whiny girl supply me with her laundry list of complaints and demands? Thanks, but I think I’ll pass. So many times this year, I have stood up from a prayer, to find that the only thought ringing in my ear is,

“Well that was a waste of time!”

Foolish, foolish girl, who will accept nothing else but an immediate reply, when will you learn? When will you learn that Heavenly Father’s plans, and Christ’s plans, are so much more incredible than the answer you attempt to dream up?

Every. Single. Time. I have been proven wrong. Every. Single. Time. The Lord answers my prayer, proving once again how stupid I am to have ever doubt His immense love for me.

This man chose to walk through every trial I have been through. He chose! And having been through a few of them myself, I can honestly say I do not think that is a decision I would have the guts to make. However, He did. He loves me enough to walk through my pain, my anguish, and my sorrow. Why would He suffer all of that, just to withhold His knowledge and guidance from me? He wouldn’t. He is always there, at the ready, orchestrating what He knows to be the perfect answer to my worries. And you know what? It is always is. Weeks later, when that answer hits me out of nowhere, from the mouth of a friend or the warning from a prophet, it comes perfectly, bringing with it tears and immense gratitude.

So, this Christmas season is a little different than ones before. Families cannot gather as they’d like, less traveling will be involved, and it just doesn’t seem to carry quite as much cheer as it usually does. I think the lot of us are exhausted, overwhelmed, and ready for this year to be over. Those feelings can make it difficult to see the Savior, even make it easy to believe that He has left us to suffer this all on our own.

That is not the case. That will never be the case. Just like the picture, He is always there. He is always there, watching over us with love in His eyes and sorrow in His heart, wishing we could see as He sees. However much we complain and gripe to Him, it won’t matter. He will still use the knowledge He has cultivated, through the worst possible suffering imaginable, to aid us on this journey through earth. His hope and light will come in places you did not expect, but it will shine through your darkest nights, reminding you that though you doubted Him, He was always there.

#LighttheWorld