CONSTANT AWARENESS
“You don’t need to say another prayer.” I informed myself as I turned into the packed parking lot. “You’ve already said one.”
With a swirling sensation still attacking my stomach, I tried to appease it. “Fine, just say a second one on the way home.”
A word of warning, the Spirit is not one to be reasoned with. Though it may be ignored, it never strays from proclaiming truth.
Say a prayer. Now.
Submitting, and wearing a completely positive attitude, I followed the counsel of that still, small voice. After putting the car in park, turning off the ignition, and checking for onlookers, I bowed my head to say an additional prayer.
“Mom, I need a distraction.”
Immediately pausing the show she had been watching during her few minutes of free time, my mother lovingly faced me with a sympathetic smile. “Want to help me put together the shelf for your brother’s room?”
Desperate, incredibly desperate, I agreed to her suggestion. “Sure.”
And, so ensued a four-hour debacle that was broken up by a mini emergency.
Do not hire either of us to be your contractors.
“Oakley!” I heard my mother shout fearfully, her body ducking beneath my sight line.
“What?” I asked anxiously, abandoning the screw halfway in its intended home.
“No, no!” With her hand shoved inside the yellow lab’s tiny, tiny mouth, my mother fought against the dog’s escape from rescue. “No!”
Looking into the depths of Oakley's mouth, my mother uttered the words that would put us back hours further in our war against the bookshelf. “She swallowed a piece.”
Unable to swallow myself, paranoia overtook me quickly. “What are we going to do!?”
“I don’t know.” My mother replied, keeping a level head as I returned to the incomplete task from before. It was either squeeze the life out of the screwdriver or the dog wagging her tail playfully at my feet.
A quick internet search and a perusal of the vet’s hours is what had landed me at the supermarket. My task: Retrieve the items that would help to ease the dull, flat shelf part from my dog’s body.
Saying yet another prayer was not on the agenda.
Folding my arms, and baking in the New Mexico heat, I spoke to the Lord in my mind, quickly begging for guidance and a great digestive system, and then rushed inside.
Where, my prayer was immediately answered through two of my favorite people on the earth.
Looking like I had just slipped on a pair of shoes and thrown my hair up, the loving couple from my ward saw the distraught girl before them and offered immediate advice.
“Kaopectate.”
Lately, I’ve been feeling as if I am not on the Lord’s radar. That He is not aware of me. Or, has no wish to be aware of me.
These worries are the reason I dared to ask for the distraction on that fateful Saturday morning.
Prayers appear to be unanswered. Trials seem unbearable. Aid seems to come at the last possible second.
However, then there are moments like the dramatic retelling listed above, where His constant awareness cannot be denied.
The Lord was aware of me. The Lord was aware of my dog. The Lord was aware of everything I was going through, my worries, my stress, my headache, my irritation, my hunger. (A home project truly will never take, “just a minute”.)
The Lord was there for the entire, chaotic ride, from my first pleas for a diversion, to the quick petition for help when it was needed. He offered me peace and reassurance and the aid I felt I was missing right when I needed it.
And I almost missed it. I almost passed up on the tender mercy, the outpouring of HIs love. I would have dismissed the whisperings of the Spirit, had it not been so persistent. Which, leads me to ask, how many other things have I missed?
How many times have I let my worries color my entire life, losing the sound His voice, the feel of His comfort, or the sight of His hand, stirring its own, beautiful picture?
How many times has He helped me, or assured of help to come, and I was too blind to see it?
Oakley Ann, the pretty but not very bright, yellow lab, gave me that sight. To know, that no matter how it feels in the moment, He is aware.
He knows. He knows how hard it is. He knows about the tears, the screams of anger and frustration, the crushed hopes and drifting dreams. He knows it all. He has a plan for it all. He is there through it all.
Constantly, He is aware. We just have to be looking to see it.
"But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by name; thou art mine.
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour..."
P.S. Oakley Ann is fine 😉
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