HIS YEAR

“This year is going to be my year, I can just feel it!”

How many times have I said that, just on this blog site alone?

Which is hilarious, because it doesn’t really even sound like me. I’ve never been this über confident, go-getter. I’m so much more of a fly under the radar type. I live in awe of people who dream, set goals, and actually take the steps needed to achieve them. That drive is so admirable.

So, perhaps partly because I don’t have that determination written into my DNA, my years don’t always turn out the way I expect. If I had the gumption to actually make a vision board, none of what occurred over the months in, “My Years”, would be pasted to the card-stock.

And in the moment, that always wrecks me. But, looking back? I am always in humble gratitude of what the Lord was able to work with my meager offerings and bad attitude.

I can’t remember if I declared 2024 to be “My Year”, or not. If you’re really curious you can go back and check 😉 However, upon reflection, I can clearly see that it was one of the years where I grew the most. Not in ways I would have ever wished for, but 2024 was the year I feel like I really and truly came to know Him.

Which, is something I hope I continue to say. I know I thought it was true for 2023, but each year, my Savior one ups it. He helps me deepen our relationship. I pray that such is the case for each year that follows.

Which is why I have decided to craft a different title for 2025. Instead of trying to formulate my own plans, or predict how things are going to go in the next 365 days, I’m going to do my best to give it to Him. I mean, He’s the one in control, anyway. Probably better to get on for the ride, instead of dragging my heels.

2025 is going to be His Year. I’m going to do my very best to make it so.

In 2024, my Savior became real to me. In the times where I didn’t trust Him, He proved He was more than worthy of my trust. When I struggled to feel His love, He poured it over me, tenfold. When I felt unworthy of His grace, and worried how I could ever become so, He reminded me I didn’t have to be. That is the whole point of grace. When I couldn’t see the roads His plan would take me down, He astounded me when we reached the destination with a journey I could have only dreamed of. When I poured out my soul in prayer to Him, He listened.

2024 was the year Christ proved my faith was rewarded, even in the moments when I felt for sure it wasn’t. And that was when He was dragging Negative (N)ellie around! Imagine what He could do with a more of a Neutral (N)ellie.

My goal for 2025 is to continue to choose faith. To build on the relationship He and I crafted together in 2024. To actively decide to believe Him, even when every bone in my body is screaming nothing will work out.

I’m choosing to give my year to Him. I’m choosing to faithfully follow Him into the unknown, and I’m here to tell you, He is already setting it off with a bang.

Recently, I was asked to do something that honestly felt like too much to bear. I did not know how I could possibly complete the task that was set before me.

So, I took it to Him in prayer. Where 2023 Ellie would have been furious at the Lord for even suggesting she do something so difficult, 2025 Ellie took my fears, my concerns, my tears, and my minuscule faith to Him, and asked what to do.

And, I felt prompted to say no. To let this opportunity pass.

Which, almost felt worse than bearing the weight 😂 Like many, I am not so great at saying, “no”. And I wrestled with that answer. And felt horrible. And wondered if I had made the right decision.

And peacefully, He whispered, “This is following me.”

I had prayed about, I had done what I felt He was leading me towards, and as such, I was following Him.

I know I am not going to do this perfectly. Marking it as “His Year” does not automatically exempt me from trials or temptations or questions of faith. I mean, this is Negative (N)ellie we are talking about here. A glass-half-full outlook is bound to ensue.

And I also know that by choosing faith, He will take me to places I never expected to go. Uncomfortable places. Unwanted places.

But, as always, He will show me that those spots are right where I need to be. I know Him. I love Him. I want to give myself to Him, even if I fail, because I know He will be there to catch me when I fall.

This year might not be my best year, or my most successful year, or my most fun-filled year. But I know if I can exercise even the smallest particle of faith, He will use this year to draw me closer to Him. By doing my best to make it His, He will turn this year into, “Our Year”.