IDENTITY

Aspiring Author.

Living at home.

Childless.

Single.

A couple of months ago, as I watched fifty or so incredible young women participate in a Lip Sync Battle at Girls Camp, I was almost brought to tears. Literally. That is not at all an exaggeration.

Watching them dance, act, and work it to songs like, “What Makes You Beautiful”, made me so, so emotional. It might have been the lack of sleep, or the altitude, or perhaps because that song was my jam when I was their age.

But no. No, it wasn’t any of that. It was them. It was those girls. The light they carry inside of them was shining so brightly that night. Their fun, quirky, silly personalities were on display for all to see. And I loved every second of it. I love them. I was inspired by them. I wanted to protect them. I wanted to help them in anyway I possibly could, but specifically, by showing them who their Savior is. And how much He loves them.

As I continued to observe them interacting with each other throughout the week that followed, the idea of identity came to my mind often. Did these girls know who they are? Were they aware they are Daughters of a King? I knew they had heard that phrase before, but hearing it and believing it are two, very different things.

It was obvious to all around them, who they were. But I desperately wanted them to know, to understand, to believe that they truly are Children of God.

And if I wanted them to believe it, then I had to set the example. I had to start believing it myself. Because, although I had, too, heard I was a Daughter of God, I for sure didn’t define myself that way. Instead, I defined myself by the titles listed at the top of the page. That was who I saw myself as.

And, who I worried others saw me as. And I think that’s one of the reasons I relied so heavily on these labels. I didn’t want others thinking I wasn’t aware of them. I didn’t want people to be able to beat me to the punchline of a joke, or try to catch me off guard with their viewpoints of my life. If I broached it, if I brought it up, then they couldn’t upend me. I would always be one step ahead.

Which, is how I ended up bringing those topics up. A lot. In so many interactions. By staying ahead of the race, I was defining myself by such trivial things. And I was making people uncomfortable. And perhaps coming off a little desperate. And making myself really, really sad.

Because, I started to think that maybe these really were the attributes that made me, me. And when you add up those four, it seemed to come down to a whole lot of trying, and not a lot of winning.

In a 2022 Devotional to Young Adults, President Russell M. Nelson stated, “I believe that if the Lord were speaking to you directly tonight, the first thing He would make sure you understand is your true identity. My dear friends, you are literally spirit children of God,”

I caught this glimpse, the glimpse of how God really sees us, in the eyes of my mother, at my brother’s wedding.

Many introductions were made that day, lots of exchanges of career choices and hometowns. While waiting in the temple for the sealing to begin, one of my sister-in-law’s family members came up and asked me what I did for a living. Proudly, I declared, “I am an author.”

Across the room, I caught my mom’s gaze. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so proud of me.

Because, many times in the past, when asked what I did, I’d reply, “I just stay at home and take care of those house.” Or, “Well, I’m trying to be a writer.”

But that day, I portrayed myself the way my mother sees me. And it gave her the most beautiful smile you ever did see. Apart from when my brother got married to his wonderful bride, of course. Nothing could top that.

And, I don’t believe my mother was so joyful because she could finally say her daughter wan an author. No, I think it’s because I was finally seeing myself clearly. She wasn’t happy because of the title I was wearing, but because I was finally proud of myself. I was stepping into the role God had given me, a Daughter of God with endless potential.

So, I guess this post is kind of a love letter to my sweet Young Women. Don’t let the world define you. Don’t let that critic in the back of your mind tell you who you are, and who you are not. As President Nelson explains in that devotional, the title that matters the most is Child of God. Why?

Because it encompasses us all. Not only that, but celebrates us all, and all our uniqueness, talents, and attributes. It reminds you that He created you, just as you are, and loves that person. It is evidence that He has so much for you to do on this earth, that your potential is endless, and He will take you places you never thought you would go.

It’s proof that His love will change you for the better. And it teaches us that He is there. He is really there. He is invested in every aspect of you life. The whole point of this life is to get you home to Him, and He will do everything in His power to make it happen.

So, let’s not limit ourselves with labels. (Because clearly, I am in this fight just as much as you are.) Let’s not define ourselves by what we think we lack, or even what we think others will like about us most. Let’s view ourselves as He does, as His beloved Child, and let that color everything we do and fill in the gaps of our souls.

That is our true identity.