JUST A GLIMPSE

"Whoa. I'm beautiful."

Staring back at my reflection in the mirror, the internal compliment took me completely by surprise. Not just because they are so rarely given, but because of the circumstances that surrounded it. The image that glanced back at me in wonder was not one that many would define as "beautiful".

Seeing as it was the day after Christmas, you can bet your bottom dollar I was still donning my holiday jammies. Perfectly paired with my The Year Without a Santa Claus pajama bottoms was a hand-me-down shirt from my younger brother, a sketch of a wizard drawn across the top that no longer fit him. The bun that I had thrown together in a matter of seconds, sagged dangerously to the left, threatening to interfere with the face-washing process the minute I bent forward to splash water across my cheeks. Not a speck of makeup was to be found, in fact, a few zits were seen amidst the freckles that are sprinkled all over my face, made ever more obvious by the ghostly pale background they rested against. A toothbrush hung from my mouth, leaving my lips lined in white, frothy bubbles.

Somebody call Vouge, right?

And yet, for just a moment, I felt beautiful. Just the notion of that feeling, stroked the stew of emotions that have been boiling just beneath the surface for months now. The bubbles of hope and peace burst in wonderful surprise, because, as of late, I have not felt beautiful. Not just in relation to physical features that are oh, so fleeting, but deep in my soul, I have felt ugly. I have felt unworthy. I have felt unwanted. I have felt alone. I have felt unloved.

Then, in the harsh light of the bathroom mirror, with remnants of holiday goodies spread across my shirt, and a desperate need for sleep ringing my eyes, I caught a glimpse. Just a glimpse, of how my Father in Heaven views me. How my Savior views me.

I have to admit. What I saw, was eye opening.

Did they see a girl, who after years and years of hard work, is still displeased with some of the things she sees in the mirror?

No. They saw a uniquely beautiful daughter of God.

Did they see a failure? Someone who feels as if she cannot keep fighting the same daily battles one minute longer?

No. They saw a brave, resilient daughter of God, who makes Them proud each time she decided to try again.

Did they see an unrighteous being whom they despised? One who made it more and more difficult with every passing moment to want to put time and effort into her pitiful life?

No. They saw a daughter, whose potential is boundless, and who They love, just for being the silly girl she is.

Did they see someone who makes countless mistakes every day? One whose shortness of words, irritated groans, or complete lack of faith, makes her unworthy of Their love?

No. They saw a daughter of God, who, though however small it may seem, grows more like Them each and every day.

What would you do, if you caught a glimpse of how the Lord really feels about you? If you could clear away the unkind words and constant critiques that fog our vision, making us believe that there is no way a perfect being could ever view us with the least amount of love?

Because, the truth is, that girl mentioned above, the one with toothpaste lipstick and swirling lies that circle her mind on an endless rotation? She is beautiful, in every aspect of the word. Though she may not see it herself, there are two beings who forever will, and They will never, ever quit trying to make her believe it herself.

Never, will They give up on her pain, groaning as they have to reaffirm to her for the thirty millionth time, that she is loved. They're perfect, remember? Even when we are not, and so far from it, They are flawless. They're presence is constant in our lives, never faltering as They try to remind us whose we are, and where we belong, right back at Their side.

The only perfect being to walk the Earth, the person who did no wrong, who never hurt another with unkind words or mistaken actions, made it His life's mission to remind me of just how much worth I have. Just how loved I am. Just how beautiful I am, inside and out. Through His Atonement, He has proven to each and every one of us, just how important and loved and cared for we really are. How much potential we have. How GOOD we can be.

At that moment, there was no separation of the wheat from the tares, no careful selection, to see who was worth saving, who would provide the most worth to the Savior and the Father. Nope. Each and every one of us was deemed worthy of the Savior's matchless love, worthy of pain and affliction and sorrow of every kind imaginable. Why? To remind us who we are. To remind us that we are more than just the flaws and weaknesses that can seem so overwhelming. To remind us of the incredible, beautiful, perfectly imperfect children of God we are now, and the increasingly wonderful people we can become.

So, what would you do, if you caught a glimpse of how heaven sees you? Would you beat yourself up for every mistake that was made? Would you cry over the zits on your face? Would you let the adversary convince you that you are unworthy of love?

Or, would you trust those who know us best, perfectly, even, and still choose to invest in us? Those who still choose to bring us comfort in sorrow, hope in the dark, and joy in the midst of trials? Those who cry at our expense, wishing we would allow Their light to shine one us, helping us to see ourselves as we really are?

Who would you become, what would you become, if you chose to see yourself as Christ and the Father do? The possibilities are endless, unimaginable, and oh, so great.