JUST GIVE IT TO HIM

"Just give it to Him.”

This is a phrase that has been consistently running bases in my mind the past few weeks.

“Just give it to Him.”

It’s sound advice, this piece of wisdom given to me. As much as I’d like to see and read the future, as much as I’d like to control the uncontrollable, and force my dreams into reality, I do not as of yet possess those capabilities.

What will come, will come, making it best just to give it to Him.

But, what does that mean?

I never do blogs like this, ever. Believe it or not, a live-in-mooch and aspiring author does not own the corner on the market of experience. I have no right to lay out a step-by-step guide and am far and away not the right candidate to tell others what to do.

Which is why I’m not going to. Instead, I’m going do what I always try to do. Follow the promptings of the Spirit and type the words my Savior has spoken into my heart.

Trust Him

I know, kind of a given, but which is what makes it the first and foremost step.

We have to trust Him. Have to trust the love He shows for us in everyday life, and years ago when He suffered for our sins. We have to trust that through that all-encompassing love, He truly does know and want what’s best for us.

We have to trust that He knows us.

This step has been challenging for me, because I worry by letting go of my dream, by not directing all my attention and focus on it, I am not acting in faith. I am not showing my Savior how much I truly want these desires imbedded in my heart.

This is a lie.

The Savior knows me. He knows me. Whether I constantly obsess over my wants and needs, or lay them at His feet and choose to enjoy the here and now, He knows what I want. What I truthfully want, even if I haven’t yet caught hold of those musings.

He knows me. He loves me. He will get me exactly where I long to be. Giving it to Him does not mean abandoning your hopes, it means choosing to trust in the one who knows you most of all.

Know You Will Think About It

The suggestion above has a flip side to it. Though we give it to Him, sometimes the yearning for those fantasies and stirrings of our soul cannot be ignored. They lead us to ache and wish and pray and beg for things to be changed, for the tides to be turned in the favor we like.

That is ok. That is also not showing a lack of faith. It is being human.

I sometimes worry so much about proving to Him I submit completely; I become angry or resentful with myself when even the slightest flash of my dream appears in my mind. As if admitting to what I want is somehow betraying Him.

This is another lie.

He knows what we want, remember? He knows you. Inside and out, through and through, the good and the bad. Never does He want us to feel that we have to hide any part of ourselves from Him. He wants us to communicate every win, every loss, every heartache and every hope. He wants you to feel comfortable coming to Him with it all.

However, He also wants you to be happy. He wants your life to be full of joy, and although ambitions are important and things to be celebrated, wallowing that they have not yet come to fruition will not bring us happiness. Instead, it will bring us anger, frustration, and possibly distance us from the Lord.

Again, all human emotions, but ones it is important to strive to avoid by giving it to Him and knowing He will work it all for our very best.

He Is Your Partner

This truth came to me while I was praying, exhaustedly crying to Him to show me how I could give it to Him.

“Think of me as your partner.”

Now, clearly that is not a title I deserve, to be a partner with Christ, but that is what I am. The weak link in our partnership.

He sacrificed Himself and suffered all that I have suffered so He could carry me through the trials He knew I would face. He knew I could never do this life on my own, or possibly carry my own weight, and He doesn’t ask me to. He asks me to go to Him and use the help He so willingly offers.

The adversary wants the exact opposite. He wants me to push the loving aid away, or to not ask for it at all. I have witnessed firsthand how deceptive and cunning the enemy is, leading me to believe that Christ is my stumbling block and not my foundation.

It is true, there are wants and desires that have not come to pass when I desperately wished they would. There have been times where the answer is no and it nearly suffocates me. There have been times when hard work results in what appears to be nothing.

There are times when it seems our partner has failed us. Left us. Abandoned us. Tricked or deceived us.

This, is another lie.

Our partner is right beside us. He is feeling what we are feeling. He mourns lost hopes with us. He catches our tears and I’m sure wishes He could take the pain away. However, He doesn’t. Despite knowing and suffering the turmoil, He chooses to stay and endure the battle with us, knowing what is on the other side.

Wonders we could never, ever have imagined.

Be Honest

It’s funny, isn’t it? That the one person that knows us best, completely, perfectly, is sometimes the one we have the hardest time being honest with?

Worried our cracks of unfaithfulness will show, or perhaps by admitting what we are truly feeling, we will relinquish rights to the thing we want most. Fearful that by voicing the truth, it will speak it into being.

None of it makes sense but fear usually doesn’t.

Broken, fully and utterly broken, I stared blankly at my shoes heaped inside my closet, I stumbled through a prayer that made no sense to me. Without really thinking about it, I spoke out loud the feelings I was terrified to face head on.

“I’m not sure this is even what I want anymore.”

Lightening did not strike me down. My heart did not become stony and hard, no longer allowing access to the dreams I’d held so close. The world did not tilt on its access.

Instead, I went to sleep peacefully, my head filled with the fantasies I had claimed I no longer wanted. And, waking with a smile, I felt free. Uplifted. Less weighted down, able to take a deep, deep breath.

I was free from the hold of the adversary by being honest with Him. Surrendering every piece of my heart, every doubt, fear, and yearning, I was at peace, knowing He would take care of all. The fear no longer held any power over me, because I’d given it to Him.

Choose to be Active

When we give it to Him, that does not mean our work is done. It does not mean we kick up our heels, grab a new book to read, and wait for a miracle to occur.

Actively, we have to keep choosing to have faith in Him. Faith that if He is leading us to this goal, there is a reason to keep fighting for it. To keep putting in the effort, seeking out and putting the work into what we want, all along the way keeping in constant contact with Him.

Using His help. Using His guidance. Using His Atonement when mistakes come, changes must be made, failure appears, or life just gets hard.

Because, it will. It always does. Despite that logically we know all the truths listed above are indeed truths, that doesn’t make it easy to believe them. To honor them. To choose to stick with them.

That is a choice we actively have to make. We have to choose to stay close to Him, worthy of the Spirit’s presence, by studying scripture, going to church, serving others, and acting as He would. By doing so, we learn more about Him. We learn who He is, and we can be assured that He will never let us down.

The adversary would have us believe that when times get tough, when we are exhausted and frustrated and overwhelmed, we should cut ourselves some slack, skipping a prayer here or a scripture study there in order to regain some energy.

That is a lie.

We need to tie ourselves tighter to Him. We need that exposure to His love now more than ever. Perhaps we can only read a few verses a day, or sob out a humble prayer that is inaudible or consists of three-word phrases broken up by sniffles.

Doesn’t matter. The Lord thrives on our effort. He takes whatever we are able to give, and magnifies it, using it to bless us far more than we could ever deserve.

As we actively choose Him, we choose to give it to Him.

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This was so hard to write. Often times, I can see where the words will carry me, or what messages I want to portray. It almost seems concrete, or if not, I can feel the Spirit carrying me to and from each point.

Today was not so. Though I knew the words the Lord wanted me to type, I had to fight for them, I had to earn them, I had to ignore the dog barking at the plumbers and just get it down.

Because they are important. Because they are truths He wanted me to learn, absorb, and hopefully adopt as I pine and wait both now and in the future. Because they are evidence of His love in a world that would say otherwise. Because, by putting my soul out there, He is showing me yet another way to give it to Him.