WE DID IT, GRANDPA.

This is my favorite picture of us. Upon seeing a similar photo of Grandpa J, a Primary child said, “He looks angry, but I can tell he’s not, because he’s smiling.”

That’s a pretty good description of Grandpa J. A gruff exterior that almost always gave way to a smile or a made up tune.

That somewhat scary exterior is what allowed for our special connection right from the beginning. His gravely voice and hard shell had absolutely no effect on me. Sitting on his lap was one of my favorite places to be, and from the beginning, I knew I was his girl.

My Grandpa J was the straightest of straight shooters. His love was the tough kind, meaning he was never afraid to give you concerned guidance when he felt it necessary. Now, being the perfect angel that I am, it was rare that he felt the need to tell me that I was wrong, but it did occur. Disappointing him was something that was very difficult for me, though it did make the moments he took pride in me that much sweeter.

Poor Grandpa J endured each and every one of my ever-changing career choices, and fulfilled his role as dutiful patriarch by informing me when he felt certain options were not the right fit for me. He was right, of course, which only made it more terrifying to inform him of my desire to write.

The nice thing about having someone in your life who is never afraid to tell you the truth is that when they pay you a compliment, when they say you have the ability to do something, you can’t help but believe them.

Grandpa J was, is, and always will be the biggest fan of my blog. Sorry mom, you just cannot compete. His support meant the world to me.

He didn’t care that the articles I sent into magazines were never selected, or that my number of readers tended to fluctuate between one and two. (that’s including him) He continued to shower me with words of praise and demands for more works to be sent his way. Grandpa J was never one to fold to the demands of technology, meaning each and every blog was hand mailed with love by yours truly. Upon his passing, I found a binder in his room filled with each and every blog I had ever written.

See? She just can’t compete.

In his mind, I was an author worthy of being published in The Liahona. And today, I proved him right.

He really was always right, wasn’t he?

Oh, how I wish he was here with me to celebrate. If only the stars had aligned a little bit sooner. Perhaps I should have worked harder, sent in more articles, producing a worthwhile one in time for him to see it.

As I think on these wishes of mine, it becomes obvious to me how foolish they are. I don’t need to hope that he could be here to see this, or cry to hear his voice through the phone, telling me he knew it would happen all along. I don’t need to yearn for him to be with me, because he already is. Already has been. Our connection is one that cannot be cut by the veil that now separates us. He is forever my Grandpa, and I am forever his girl.

I have felt him so often with me since his passing last March. From the testimony he left that this life is not the end, to a whisper of support when I needed it most, to the countless times I have been set up in the last eleven months. Yeah, Grandpa, I know that is you, and you know what the worst part is? I can perfectly picture that mischievous grin on your face, the one that would hold absolutely no shame for your actions.

I’d tell you to stop it, but I know it would do me no good.

Last August, as we traveled to Utah for a wedding, the feel of my Grandpa came to me at an unexpected time. Staring out the window, wondering how much longer I could last trapped in the seat surrounded by coolers and suitcases, I felt him there, smiling with me.

It was a lasting, comforting feeling, that smile shared with my Grandpa. I enjoyed that quiet minute with him, not sure what it meant. A week later, when I received the e-mail informing me my article would be published, it became crystal clear.

So, Grandpa J, on this wonderful day, when I am overcome by the love of those around me, yours is included as well. I know that though we are apart for now, you are celebrating with me in this very moment. Have been, since that warm day in August. You knew before I did, though being in Heaven I feel does give you the slightest of edges, and your pride could not be withheld.

Because, no matter if I manage to achieve each and every one of my writing dreams, I know that this is the one you would have been most proud of. Are most proud of. The one you are most likely embarrassing me by, as we speak, by passing copies around to each and every person you meet.

You always believed in me, and because of that, I gained the ability to believe in myself. To put myself out there. To try again and again and again. You’ve earned this just as much as I did, Grandpa J.

So, congratulations! We did it, Grandpa.

“Following a Prompting to Serve Brought Me an Unexpected Blessing”